Kerry's Korner

Time to take a breath...

2011-09-20T20:14:00.001-05:00

I am not sure when I'll do that, though! In the last 2 weeks I've gone from part time adjunct and part time substitute with little to no ideas about a full time job to starting tomorrow with a full time teaching SCHEDULE without the benefits of a full time job. BUT. I also interviewed for a new FT opening and it seems very possible that I will, finally, have a full time job quite soon!! I'm so excited. If this pans out then I will resign from the substitute position and have only ONE job with at least fairly normal hours... it will be the first time in... well, I'm not sure how long it's been since I had any kind of normal schedule. Maybe ever!!! I've been in school for so long, I'm not entirely sure what life outside school looks like.

Praying for this job :-)

Living in fast forward...

2011-09-05T20:45:00.000-05:00

Do you ever feel like this?

Cause I'm living in fast forward
A hillbilly rock star out of control
I'm living in fast forward
Now I need to rewind real slow

Now, mine is more suburban mom/wife/teacher/coach style than hillbilly rockstar like Kenny Chesney, but still the feeling is there.

This week: Tues - school for kids, work for me, soccer game at 4:15, back to work for 5:30 class, home by 10; Wed - school for kids, grade papers, maybe substitute, soccer practice 3-5, Thursday - school, work, soccer game at 4:15, work for 5:00 meeting, 5:30 class for final exam, home after exams are graded and grades are entered; Fri - school for kids, sub at school for me...

Tomorrow my children go to school. My baby will start high school. He may take exception to me calling him my baby since he currently stands 5'10" or thereabouts.

The eldest child starts her sophomore year - with boyfriend to complete the package. She is so excited - he asked her to stand with him while they wait for the bell tomorrow! Oh wow - it's so exciting... almost like she was really his girlfriend! Oh wait, she is... huh.

In reality, I think they are set to have a wonderful year. I pray they enjoy it and get the most out of it they can.

Soccer post will be coming...

Football time!!!!

2011-09-03T21:12:00.002-05:00

Last night was the first football game of the season for our local highschool team - they had a great season opener and won 26-0!

I've always enjoyed highschool football, but this year... this year my daughter is a varsity cheerleader! (she plays soccer, too - we'll get to that in the next post...)

For now... look how good these girls look!

And of course, no prejudice involved at all, my daughter is beautiful! See that smile? She had that smile going ALL night!!!

She is on the left in this stunt - you don't know how glad I am that she isn't the one being thrown (or lifted) up in the air and then caught!

Like this...

And this...

And how can you not get goose bumps at moments like this???

Oh, there's my girl again :-)

OK, and here we have factor 2... you see that boy in the blue & white? What? Half of them are in blue and white? Oh, well - the one closest to the camera, #6. Yeah. That would be "The Boy". You know the one I mean.

Oh look, there he is again!

I'm so impressed that the child who slouches around when she walks held herself so straight the entire evening!

About that smile!

See the form - ok, really, I know NOTHING about cheerleading. This is my first experience with it personally! I have my issues with team management things, but over all I think it has been a good experience for her.

Do you see this? Our squad stood in formation like this the entire game - unless they were actively cheering! Really, they made the other team's cheerleaders look unorganized and amateurish!

At the end of the game they lined the field exit and clapped for the players and coaches as they left the field - for both teams.

About that boy... here he is again sans helmet and uniform shirt & pads!

Just wait until my boy has his first football game!! Oh wait, I'm coaching soccer - I won't be able to see it!!! Wahhhhhhhhh!!!!

Next post... soccer! (got to get pictures first!)

Things to figure out...

2011-07-10T13:00:00.000-05:00

When will I make time and find the drive to go to the gym? I'm on day 4 of the Zija plan... Sleep has been strange, I seem to be excessively warm, was a little shaky but that seems to have stopped. Maybe that stuff will regulate and I can use the new-found energy to go to the gym :-)

The whole appetite suppressant seems to work - as an example, yesterday I had 1 ham steak (small), 1+ eggs (I made 4 and have my husband ~2/3 of what was there) for breakfast. It was a late breakfast so I didn't eat lunch. For supper I had one bite of a bratwurst, 2 bites of a hotdog and 2 servings of salad. The hotdog and brat didn't taste good at all. Oh well.

Job stuff... I'll start the school year out subbing. Hopefully teach 2 classes at Mildred-Elley and we'll see what I get at Bryant and Stratton. I may be able to pull enough classes at M-E to not go with B&S at all. We will see about that. Less confusing to stick with one place! The question is, should I take on enough teaching to scrap the subbing? I'm undecided about that. It is a definite benefit for me to be in the school with my kids like that. Obviously for a full time position I would quit subbing, but for anything else, I think I'd choose to try and keep on at the school...

Soccer is coming... I am assistant coach!! So excited :-) That will be FUN!! Hope the girls think so, too. Hopefully the weight loss and exercise will be well under way by then so I can keep up with these girls!

Zija time?

2011-07-07T08:42:00.000-05:00

So, here it is...

My plan for the next couple months, anyway.

Hopefully I can stick it out, 'cause honestly - it tastes gross. It smells gross. And, well, I tend to have an aversion for gross.

BUT... if it pulls the results, I'll suck it up and deal. And I will do so gladly.

So, the way this works - that green bottle? Mix up one of the drink mix packets (nutrient mix in the white & green boxes) with water in the bottle (seems to be called a shaker, but it looks like any water bottle). Drink half (8-10 oz) in the morning and the other half in the evening. (at least it doesn't leave an aftertaste... I rinsed it down with milk) Mid-morning take one of the caplets in that white bottle. Those are energy (caffeine) & appetite suppressant (not real sure what does this... possibly something in the Moringa). Yes, I know what is wrong with that last sentence. I should really know that. I'll find out. Then, I'll let you know. I'm sure you'll be dying to read it. Then, nightly, a cup of tea (black box). Guess this is a detox tea. That'll make for some nice bathroom trips!

Basically - all put together it claims to be a superior weight loss program. My guess is that it suppresses appetite, provides the required nutrients and you probably don't eat much else - therefore, weight loss. In an ideal world, because the nutrients are being provided the body shouldn't enter starvation mode and consequently not destroy your metabolism in the process. My theory there is that you'd have to make a conscious effort to eat foods with the right fats - things the Moringa isn't going to provide.

OK, that's the first and last post with the details... from here on out all I care about are results.

Debating whether or not I share starting weight, but I guess I will.

So, today being day 1... starting weight (pre-breakfast) is 149 (OUCH - lets keep in mind my normal is 105-110)

OK, enough of that... I'm off to restock my son's paintball stock so he can go to battle today!!

Summertime

2011-07-06T07:57:00.002-05:00

I love summer.

I love pictures.

I love how changing up the picture style gives a whole new feel for the same photo.

Summer...

...and flip flops! Two things that are inseparable in my book.

...and amusement parks.

...and beaches.

...and camping.

...and pools (going there this afternoon)

...and boats!

Can it be summer all year round? Thanks.

What to write?

2011-06-22T16:12:00.001-05:00

There are so many things I'd like to write about. A blog I read once said you should write like you were talking to your sister... Well, I'm not sure that would be such a great idea. 'Cause, well, I think the way we talk is probably only entertaining to us :-) It's also probably only suitable for us!!

I'm watching a movie - think my son and husband are going nuts, it's definitely not a guy movie! Hey, turns out they really liked it! I'm amazed.

I have so much around the house I need to do. Just major issues getting to it. I keep thinking I'm going to pay the lady down the street to come help me do it. More and more I think it would be money well spent! We will see.

Here is a picture of my husband and our kids on fathers day. Taken with my phone's camera. That same camera seems to have gone crazy. It now is taking pics looking like a heat sensitive image!

and it worked!

2011-06-21T13:29:00.000-05:00

I love smart phones. Really. They are my friend. I love being able to do what I want without lugging my laptop around :-)

About the grammar/spelling issue... I just want to clarify. Mistakes here and there are normal; using words improperly occasionally is fine. The things that make me cringe - ok, there are a few of them - subject/verb disagreement in number ("they was going"), continuous use of the wrong form (to/too/two, your/you're, their/they're/there) and words spelled incorrectly all over the place. For example, I read these yesterday:

"I am greatful..."
"They are elliterat..."
"I was scarred..." (in context it is obvious that "scared" is the correct word)
"creativer"
"alot more deeper"

OK, I'm done. I really could go on for quite a while.

Today was the living environment regents, Mitchie says it was easy. One more exam to go and the kids are home free for the summer!

Going to meet my friend this evening to sit and chat. I miss her.

Mobile blogs

2011-06-21T00:03:00.001-05:00

Turns out Android market had an app for that! Which I suppose only makes sense really. You know, since it is a Google thing and all!

Now, I may be digging a lovely hole for myself here, but I was reading a couple of blogs this evening and was appalled. Yes, appalled. Apparently use of proper grammar and spelling are not important factors when one publishes a blog post for the world to see.

Yes, I admit it...

I am a snob. A writing snob.

And yet, I don't think I ask too much.

I suppose I will survive, although I doubt I'll return to that blog.

I'm going to publish this now and see how it turns out! Good night world!

for father's day today...

2011-06-19T21:08:00.002-05:00

My children told their father they loved him.

He said he loves them, too, convenient how that worked out so well.

My daughter picked out cards for her dad - one from her, one from her brother.

He loved them both.

But I noticed that no one volunteered the fact that Sissy picked them both out!

My daughter insisted on taking pics with her dad last night so she could make it her FB profile picture. Got a couple of really cute ones. Then I got one of both kids with their dad.

My cup runneth over.

I watched "Hope Floats" yesterday, too.

Today we went to Saratoga after church and spent the afternoon on the lake. My husband's aunt has a boat. It was awesome. Although it is possible I got a little too much sun. My daughter may have a similar problem. We had a great time, though!

endings and beginnings

2011-06-17T11:02:00.003-05:00

School is done - just a couple more exams remain for the kids.

Cheerleading practice has begun - my daughter's bruises are crazy.

I am sick of the way I look, the way I feel and the complete lack of energy I have to do anything productive.

I'm going to try to fix it.

Here is where I plan to start: http://doripeterson.myxmstory.com/xm3

I saw this video earlier and thought it was well done - very blunt, to the point and honest. I like it.

I have 5 or 6 exams left to grade - I suppose I should get to it. More of that lack of motivation bit... ugh.

where does it go?

2011-06-14T19:11:00.002-05:00

Time and money - neither one ever stretches enough to get us where we want to go!

Today was the last day of school for the year. Finals and NYS regent exams over the next week and a half, but school is out.

What does that mean?

It means my oldest has made it through her freshman year of highschool.

It means my youngest has finished with middle school.

It means I am now the mother of TWO high-school students.

...it means I have no more sub days until August!!! uh oh...

A cheerleader???

2011-06-04T13:24:00.002-05:00

I never thought I'd see this day... really...

My tomboy -soccer playing-softball playing-rather put her hair in a messy pony tail than ribbons and curls-daughter tried out for - and made - the varsity cheerleading squad.

But now that I type all of that out - that girl has started fixing her hair every day, wearing clothing besides blue jeans and t-shirts (she even voluntarily wore a skirt the other day) and won't leave the house without make up.

I think she may be moving into a new stage...

So cheerleading...

Sports, friends, high school, boyfriend and now cheerleading.

Watch this, now she's going to tell me it's time to start looking at colleges! Sheesh...

Life in fast forward...

2011-04-16T09:23:00.004-05:00

Wow - the high school play was last weekend. What a rush of busyness getting ready for it. Mitchie was at rehearsals late every night, and they followed softball practice! She was going school - softball - rehearsal - bed - school for about 3 weeks.

The play (Footloose) was spectacular! If I do say so myself, my daughter was wonderful!! But, so were the rest of them. The seniors were so emotional about it being their last hurrah. I love those guys. The had 3 shows and they did a great job in all three. I was thinking about listing my favorite scenes, but really - the list would pretty much encompass the whole show. Although, I think my favorite line was, "people are picking sides", "yeah, and they ain't pickin' yours!"

On Saturday - date of the second performance - the boy my daughter has been seeing asked her out 'officially'. She was so excited - as in I truly don't think I have ever seen anyone so outwardly excited, ever, about being asked out! She RAN into the dressing room screaming it out for everyone to hear! And they, being the good friends they are, were all suitably excited with her :-)

Then on Tuesday her boyfriend was pitching at baseball practice and caught a line drive on the jaw. Ouch - so, you know his family was even more upset about it, but she's been a nervous wreck since then. He had surgery and will have his jaw wired shut for 2 months... Poor guy.

This weekend should be nice - basically nothing demanding our time, get caught up on things - no racing all over creation. Whew - well, I'm sure I'm taking the girlie over to the boyfriend's house so she can fuss over him in person :-)

It is here

2011-04-06T22:33:00.000-05:00

I did, in fact, get a new car.

I am, in fact, very happy about it.

Contrary to her complaints prior to getting the van, my daughter is also enjoying having a new car.

(I just found this draft that was never published. It was written a couple of months ago)

as of Monday...

2011-03-24T20:05:00.003-05:00

...this will be my new car! I'm so excited. I'm a little sad that "Gertie" (yes, my car has a name - my daughter named it) is on her way out. The old car has a few issues - a few of which make it not very safe to drive. It's old enough that fixing it isn't really a logical step, so... looking for a new car commenced!

Needed a car with enough room to transport children + friends + sports gear + go buy stuff without borrowing hubby's car. Also needed a car the hubby was comfortable in and we could use for traveling - i.e. room for camping gear! I tried to find something besides a minivan, but the reality is... to get what we wanted within our budget and still get a fairly new model, we had to go with the minivan :-/.

But you know what... I'm still excited. I like the van. It fits me well, and it fits the hubby well! Room for everything I want it for and drives nicely too. Yes, I'm going to turn into a minivan add!!

Going to pick it up Monday... I can't wait!

Wonder what Mitchie is gonna name this one????

Well that's depressing...

2011-03-12T09:27:00.001-05:00

Yesterday smelled like spring.

This morning it's snowing.

Welcome to NY!

Today...

2011-03-12T00:18:00.004-05:00

I can feel spring - really. I'm not making this up. I can almost taste it.

Um - what would spring taste like?

I know what it feels like...

Freedom.

No bulky jackets.

Sun on your face.

Breeze blowing your hair (it's a nice breeze, the kind you want to turn your face into and enjoy - not the icy winds you've dealt with all winter).

Currently spring also looks like a lake in our yard. Or a swamp. Or some other body of water not normally located in my yard!

and

I bought a new shampoo. Not blogworthy? Au contraire... I really like it :-) Paul Mitchell TeaTree.

It smells like spring.

a re-posted post

2011-03-08T20:47:00.002-05:00

I wrote this one a couple years ago - decided it was worth re-posting.

I was thinking of something earlier, and I just decided that my own little boggy world is the perfect place to flesh it out – explore it – share it… So – if you are reading this, you are now held captive to the workings of my brain… but just for a few paragraphs.

Due to the holiday weekend many of our church members were out of town – it was a pretty light crowd today. One of those who was out was our organist, which meant the music fell to me. I set up the song service – I liked it, but I’m not so sure it did much for this church, but that is beside the point. One of the songs we did – the first one as a matter of fact – was America the Beautiful. One of the verses goes like this:

O beautiful for pilgrim feet
Whose stern impassioned stress
A thoroughfare of freedom beat
Across the wilderness!
America! America!
God mend thine every flaw,
Confirm thy soul in self-control,
Thy liberty in law!

Wow. One hundred years ago – self control was associated with our freedom and way of life.

today

One hundred years later…

Self control is not part of our national fabric. That lack of self control on the part of citizens and elected officials has put us in the position of being in debt to the tune of more money that I can begin to comprehend. Yet – there doesn’t seem to be any inkling that the duely elected officials have any trouble with the murky, deep waters into which they have plunged us.

“The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.” (Proverbs 22:7)

Who are we enslaved to? Do we know? Do we care? If we are in debt, someone holds that debt. What happens if that debt is called? Well – if the mortgage company calls your debt and you don’t pay – you lose your house. If the loan shark comes calling I guess you lose your health and general well being… What about nationally?

I grew up thinking this was the greatest place in the world. Why would anyone want to live anywhere else? Honestly, I still think that – but the distinction is blurred more all the time. Are we – like so many other great empires – destined to destroy ourselves from the inside? Have we sold our birthright for a pot of porridge? We’ve been bought. The reigns of power are still in our hands, but only because they are allowed to be.

How did we let ourselves end up here? Is it too late to change it? I hope not. I truly believe this country still has the character and integrity that has made it a beacon on a hill for so many years. The light may just need to be recharged, maybe changed, or dusted off, but the light is still there…

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

The lamp still shines, the door is still open… it's up to us to keep it open.

home sweet home

2011-03-06T19:27:00.003-05:00

I am always looking at houses. I want another bathroom. I want an office. I want a family room. I want a bigger kitchen. I'd like a garage. I'd like a guest room.

I'm thankful I have a house. I'm thankful we have a bathroom we were able to have remodeled last year. I'm thankful we each have a bedroom and furniture. I'm thankful we have a kitchen with food in the cabinets. I'm thankful we have cars and a driveway in which to park them.

where did they go?

2011-03-02T20:42:00.003-05:00

My babies that is...

My youngest is 13 - he'll be 14 in 2 months.

My oldest is looking for drivers ed classes for next year.

She reminded me the other day that, "I'll be gone in 3 1/2 years, mom, and then Josh will be gone in 4 1/2."

Really?

The point of that statement was that my car I'll need to buy this year will only be a family car for a few short years, so I might as well just get what I want (gee thanks).

The car I buy this year - it will likely be the car that moves them into their dorms. That my son takes on his first date. Maybe the car that helps move them into their first apartments. And it could even hold car-seats for their first babies.

I'm not wishing the time away, simply sitting here in awe of how fast it will go.

How fast it has already gone.

I'm thankful that thus far they still want me around. I haven't been relegated to the position of "uncool mom". I'm not holding my breath, but I hope it doesn't happen. I enjoy my kids. I enjoy their friends. They make me smile, they make me laugh.

But where did my babies go?

They were the sweetest things.

Baby powder and baby smells have been replaced by Axe and Bath & Body Works smells (those are the good smells... others are not so good!). Rubber duckies and teddy bears have been replaced by the Wii, laptops, iPods and cell phones. Night time stories are replaced by closed bedroom doors. Girls giggling and boys wrestling - well, those have stayed!!

But then I look at them when they are asleep... no posing, no one to impress, no broken hearts... and I see them - I see my babies for a little while, but only while they sleep.

Well, I got one thing accomplished today

2011-02-10T12:59:00.001-05:00

...I actually managed to get a shower.

Now, I may need to go back to bed for the rest of the day.

can this day fast forward?

2011-02-09T16:13:00.002-05:00

I'm sick.

Not horribly so, it's "just" a cold.

But it is gonna kick my butt.

My head is throbbing, my nose is stuffy and sore, my eyes are watery and I ache every where in general.

I've slept most of the day. Going to miss the girl's basketball game tonight.

And to make things worse... the internet on my phone isn't working. I can't download another book onto it. I can't check facebook. I can't get my email. WHY????

signing off. must find kleenex box.

Don't get too used to this...

2011-02-08T15:51:00.003-05:00

I'm unlikely to make blogging part of my day - I started to say daily routine, but then I realized I don't have a routine. This may well be my problem.

I was texting a friend earlier with what I needed to do - suddenly realized I really needed a "to do list". So, handy dandy little Evo comes out - I have this app called "Out of Milk". (love this app, btw). I started my to do list for today. I have 4 of the 7 items checked off! (5 will be checked off when I get to Mitchie's ballgame!)

Unfortunately the other 2... yeah... cleaning and dishes. Oh and I forgot to put grading papers on there!

BTW - this Evo? It is "da bomb"! Text recognition on this thing is incredible!!! WAY better than my BB Storm or my Palm Centro were! (I'm noticing a slight obsession with techy gadgets... hmmm...)

I edited my grocery list, too, while I was in there.

Special needs kids - what if you're the kid?

2011-02-08T00:40:00.003-05:00

wow - it's February now... did I mention I'm a bad blogger?

I've been reading articles lately - blog posts, ezine articles, etc. - about parenting special needs kids. No, I don't have a special needs child. My children are as able bodied and sound minded as they come. But I love reading these articles - the struggles the parents go through; the time, effort and love put into therapy, care and hospitalizations.

It strikes me how differently each parent approaches the handling of their own individual child. Are they protective? overly so? do they stand back and let them fall? are they proactive or reactive? is there a right way to handle the issues these kids face? We all know there is definitely a wrong way, but is there *a* right way? Or is there just the way "my mom" did it?

I wonder.

I wonder what the siblings think. Are they put out? Are they jealous of the time required by that child? Are the parents conscientious of this and focus on including other children? How do you deal as a parent with frequent hospitalizations of one child when there are others at home?

How, as a parent, do you deal with the ridicule and taunting your child gets from others - children and adults?

Why do I wonder?

Oh, that question I can answer... *I* was the special needs child. Although, to my knowledge no one ever told me such. I was 8 before anyone informed me that *I* could be considered handicapped - I thought the girl was nuts, but her mother told her so - that meant it was true, didn't it?

I read these articles as an adult because it makes me revisit my childhood through my parents' eyes. I was the kid. I guess I knew that the rest of my friends in the neighborhood weren't frequent visitors to the children's wing of the hospital, but at the time I don't think it really occurred to me that it was so odd, either. I don't *remember* thinking it strange that I had to go and my brothers didn't. But go I did, and often enough that when I think of the places I lived as a child I remember 2 hospitals as well as some of the houses. Sick Kids in Toronto and the University of Virginia Medical Center.

I can still smell the corridors, I can see the nurses' faces. I remember the beef broth - to this day I can't eat beef broth! I remember a medicine, cherry jello or kool aid reminds me of the taste, and I can't stand it either! I remember the ICU. I remember the teachers, the therapists and the classroom in the hospital. I remember being taken to the nurses station to raid the freezer for ice cream late at night. I remember making friends there. I remember going back once to learn that one friend had died.

I remember a dear old couple who adopted my mother and I - and gave us a place to stay when I wasn't IN the hospital yet, or was there for a checkup. I think they gave my mother a break from the constant sitting with me. What did my mother do all the time I was in there? I was pretty stingy - I remember telling her she had to stay with me.

I remember screaming - every blessed time they took me to go into surgery. My poor mother. I would have been all over my kids to quit that screaming! Oh, I hated needles with a passion. I still do, but I no longer scream!

The thing I don't know.

The thing it never occurred to me as a child to wonder.

What did my brothers think of all this hospital time when I had our mother exclusively to myself? Where did they stay? What did they do? There were 3 of them then - someone had to take care of them. But who? I think I'll ask my mother. Maybe I'll even ask my brothers what they remember of that time and what their thoughts are. Did they just think it was as normal as I did? Did they want to know where mom was? I love my brothers - some of the coolest guys around :-)

I don't remember them saying anything about it then. However, while I remember being at the hospital and I remember the recovery periods there is very little I remember about the actual leaving/returning. I remember being carsick - at about the same spot every trip my mother would pull over so I could be ill on the side of the road. I remember (sorry mom) my mother falling asleep and ending up with the car nose first in a ditch.

I wonder...

guess what!

2010-10-28T16:12:00.002-05:00

I stink at blogging!

OK, back to your regularly scheduled browsing.

hmmmmm

2010-10-28T16:06:00.002-05:00

"More than a century ago God clearly revealed unto His prophet Wilford Woodruff that the practice of plural marriage should be discontinued, which means that it is now against the law of God. Even in countries where civil or religious law allows polygamy, the Church teaches that marriage must be monogamous and does not accept into its membership those practicing plural marriage."

I'm a little confused... how is it God's law can change?

...I ended up reading that article by following links...

racing the clock

2010-04-07T21:55:00.002-05:00

I'm really behind - and a little scared that I'm not feeling it more, but very relieved at the same time. The Lord knows I just can't go through the same level of stress now that I did in December. Thankfully I still feel like with His help I can actually accomplish this.

The last few months are not months I ever want to relive. I wonder if God is preparing us for something, because I sure feel like we've been through the wringer. Personal things, issues that affect the kids, employment issues, identity issues, and then - most recently - the death of my one week old niece.

This beautiful baby - her funeral was held Easter weekend. While I can accept that she is safe and will not experience any of life's pain, I struggle with why this little girl who was anticipated with such excitement had to die. She was healthy. I never saw her alive. My daughter was so excited about having another girl cousin - she and Esther are surrounded by boys!

I'm sure somewhere, somehow there is a reason for this... it makes no sense to me. My brother and his wife are no longer sleeping in their room since that is where she died. They are currently packing to move out of their apartment. I don't know how to help them. I don't know what they need. I don't know what I need! I still feel strangely detached and my sadness mostly stems from the effect it has had on my daughter and my brother.

been a long time...

2010-03-22T12:16:00.002-05:00

glad to see your face
I knew we'd meet again another time and place...

I'm in a major song mode today.

I count the days and the miles back home to you, on that highway 20 ride.

I think the Zac Brown Band may be my new favorite. Love their music.

Right now I'm not as crazy about my life.

I need a written thesis.

I need to graduate.

A job.

A clean house - the desire and motivation to clean the house.

Clean laundry would be good, too.

I think I need a maid. Really. I do.

Saw "Annie" on Saturday in ABay - it was great. They do such a good job with their musicals.

Saw a couple of my friends, too. I miss them.

Dealing with teen drama since then - really kind of ridiculous. I didn't know it, but apparently I'm in a mom competition... hmmm... nah, I'll just be me and the other moms can be them and we will all be OK, the kids can be strange if they wanna be.

Off to look for furniture for my kids...

life in the house...

2010-02-05T19:22:00.001-05:00

Today was a lazy day - as in ridiculous, crazy, do nothing day! I had to drive my son to school because I didn't wake him up in time for the bus - we'll ignore the fact that his sister was up but chose not to wake him up! I came back home, decided I was not going to my interview today because it was too far away and the logistics wouldn't really work out anyway, and then I went back to sleep. Fridays are my hubby's day off, so it was nice and relaxing. And then I remembered my daughter was supposed to have a doctor's appointment and I did not call to cancel it. OOPS! I hate when I do that.

I was supposed to call the cable company to cancel the phone service - nope, didn't do it.

My husband was supposed to look into taking care of a retirement fund from a previous job - nope, didn't do it.

I was going to go in to the lab for a while today - nope, didn't do it.

I was going to stay home and ignore the fact that my daughter had a ballgame this afternoon. It was an away game - about 40 miles from here - and I didn't feel like driving down there. Yup - I went anyway!

Wonder how much of what I have planned I won't get done tomorrow???

To Save A Life

2010-02-04T16:45:00.002-05:00

Have you seen this movie?

I took my kids to see it last weekend with their youth group. Excellent movie. Makes you think, though.

I had this conversation with my daughter today... There was a boy who was in her grade where we used to live who killed himself last week. Initially none of us could remember who he was - kids figured out from their friends who he was, my daughter thinks she remembers him. The only information I've heard is that he was bullied. It is scary to think of the number of people we overlook unintentionally. There are those who purposely go out of their way to make people miserable, to bully and insult. Then there are others of us who go about our day talking to the same people, doing the same things. We don't ignore people on purpose, they just don't cross into our consciousness. So, although we aren't participating in the bullying, we aren't providing friendship or relief from it either.

Obviously we can't take care of everyone who crosses our pathway, but maybe God has made some cross our paths so we can help - are we seeing those people? Something to think about...

the rumor weed

2010-02-04T16:39:00.004-05:00

Remember that Veggie Tales movie? That was back when my kids were little and we had every single Veggie movie there was. They loved those guys. Anyway, my daughter tells me today that something happened at school yesterday - a not so flattering picture was texted around and said to be a representation of a certain person. My daughter mentioned it to said person's best friend who told the person. Somehow the translation ended up being that my daughter started the forward. Apparently by the end of the day not only had she started it, but the principal and VP found out and my daughter was suspended for starting it (they didn't and she wasn't, but that was the rumor going around). This is a forward that never passed through my daughter's phone and all started because she wanted to warn the girl that it was being sent around.

How does that work???? Middle school is vicious I tell you...

what to think...

2010-02-03T20:48:00.002-05:00

My parents tell me when I was young I was the kid who ran the playground. Apparently I had no trouble telling children much older than I exactly what, where and how they should be doing things.

I wonder when that changed?

My recollection of childhood is of being shy, not too many friends, embarrassed to speak up about anything. I remember having trouble making friends. Dealing with people making fun of me for any manner of things and just trying to stay in the background as much as I could.

Highschool - yuck. I wouldn't repeat it or go back for anything in the world. More of the same. It is odd to look back on it. I'm sure a good number of the people I had issues with then were nice enough people. Who knows why teenagers act the way they do. I bet that some of them, were we to meet today, would actually be my friends.

Somewhere between highschool and my return to college when my children were young I came back out of my shell. I discovered I could make friends - and I make friends rather easily. In my new world I'm pretty well liked. Friends and I were having a discussion the other day and I mentioned a passing though about entering politics. They were both very encouraging - oh you have just the personality that would do well with that! You should do it! The 15 year old me would have balked at the thought of doing anything so public... but now, the idea is kinda sitting there - waiting for me to decide whether to do anything with it.

So all of this makes me wonder - at what point to kids lose their identity to the crowd and how do they get it back later? Is there a way to avoid having kids go through that phase?

a boy's boy...

2010-01-23T22:23:00.004-05:00

You've heard "he's a man's man", right? Well, my boy - he's a boy's boy - through and through. He loves getting dirty, playing football, wrestling, computers, taking things apart and putting them back together and war games - not the blood and guts ones, but the strategy ones.

The cast was a result of a battle for control of the dodge ball...

He loves strategizing - about anything. Give the boy a problem to solve and he is in heaven. If he hears of a problem, he cannot rest until he has been able to put in his own $0.02 as to how it should be solved! Yes, it can be annoying, but he is so sweet.

My baby is American made...

2010-01-23T21:35:00.009-05:00

and she is as much the All-American teen as they come...

Sports are her thing
(although she claims basketball is her least favorite)

As are clothes

And friends

And boys
(although I *could*, she is probably quite happy I have omitted pictorial proof here!)

And her cell phone
(she is very sad her phone was stolen and she is now stuck with her dad's hand-me-down)

And music
(this is the school play this year - she and her friends made it through tryouts and will be in thr high school play in March!)

We heard this song the other day, and even though her mother (that's me) doesn't wear heels or pearls, it seemed to remind us of her (although really, it may be more me than her...)

I love my girl and think (most of the time) she is a pretty awesome person to have around!

change - the spice of life?

2010-01-23T21:21:00.002-05:00

I know my husband likes things constant. He likes to know what is going on and what to expect all the time. Change is not something he does well with - any change. When we moved into this house some lovely ladies unpacked our kitchen for us and wherever they put things is where they stayed. I never really liked the non-organized kitchen, but really - I never cooked and I certainly wasn't putting the time into something I didn't deal with on a regular basis.

Well, with recent changes in my schooling status I have started doing more cooking I re-organized the kitchen with the help of my mom. Admittedly, some of the changes were just because, unlike my husband, I get bored and want to move things around! Well, my husband doesn't care for most of what we did. Oh well!

where I am...

2010-01-03T02:29:00.003-05:00

Literally - sitting in my chair in the living room because I'm unable to sleep. I went to bed where I tossed and turned and mulled over issues and problems that began to seem insurmountable to me. Somewhere around that time I realized #1 - I wasn't going to sleep and #2 - I forgot to take my medicine. Praying for the day I no longer need the medicine to manage the stress level I seem to carry with me.

More figuratively - I'm sad, I'm confused, I don't know what to do besides sit here at 2:00 AM listening to a nasty winter wind blow around my house and type out this blog post. I was miserable doing what I was doing. My husband was miserable with me doing what I was doing. I'm done - I'm getting my MS and finishing up. There will be no PhD for me. So now I have to completely restructure my plans and hopes and desires for what the future holds.

I've been looking for jobs. The more I look, the more depressed I get. University teaching positions - faculty positions are obviously PhD. I read the lists and am saddened that my name will never read that way... name, PhD, research interests are... I look at available jobs and very few appeal to me. I looked at a private school application and a question on it reads, "what do you see yourself doing in 5 years?" I don't know the answer. It scares me - I knew the answer to that question 6 months ago. Before all this garbage happened. So I'm praying for a new vision. I don't have it yet. I applied for a job (well, more than one, but this one in particular) and it is sticking in my mind more than the others. Is this God talking to me? Is it me obsessing over it? It sounds like a great opportunity, a job I would enjoy - and while I am qualified for it, the job is in a totally different specialty than I have.

My husband says I've been more like the Kerry he married the last couple of weeks than I have been in years. I'm still not quite sure what to make of that. This dream of mine was costing me who I am? So why am I so miserable that it is gone?

oh well... maybe I can sleep now. It is worth trying. 'night all

the story of us...

2009-11-27T21:55:00.003-05:00

I was leisurely browsing my way through blogs this evening... a lovely, relaxing pastime - especially when a pile of work sits at your side, waiting to be finished. But for tonight - work will wait. I ended up drawn to blogs of love stories - not fiction, grossly touchy feely and mushy, but real ones. Probably a lot like yours. Definitely a lot like mine. Perhaps the fact that yesterday was our anniversary has out me in this mood, I don't know. But in it I am, so anyone reading this will get the dubious pleasure of taking a stroll back in time... To read our story... Installment #1.

I'm a transplant - a transplant that was re-transplanted. I'm a Canadian who was raised a southern girl and the south has a hold on me - it is what I think of when I think of home. There is nothing in the world like the Appalachians - in any season. However, the re-transplant occurred when I was 17. We moved north. To New York. I was a senior in high school and was pretty sure my parents couldn't have come up with anything worse to do to me.

From the hills of Tennessee to a city on Lake Ontario. From a place where it was assumed you were a Christian and a church that had everything going for it to a city in the most un-churched county in the country and a church whose total membership was the size of my old youth group.

A family in the church had a cottage on the lake - and they invited the youth and young adults to go for a picnic. It may have been for the 4th of July, I don't remember. I was bored, sitting around people watching - that's what I do when I'm bored. There was a couple sitting on a bench, she was complaining about something - and then said something about being too fat. I mentally shrugged my shoulders and thought, "well..." Yes, not nice of me - but that was my response. Then I looked at the guy and thought, "I don't know what he is doing with her, he could certainly do much better than that."

I found out that guy had moved to town the same time we did - he was a chem tech for a large company in the city. Turns out he was a pretty good guy. Also turns out it was a good thing he was good at chemistry and math - 'cause I wasn't. At some point through the fall this guy started coming over to my house to tutor me in math - I had to pass it, but yuck - not my thing. So he came over - and we worked, and we laughed, and we became friends. My brothers loved him - he had a quirky sense of humor (ok, just plain old strange). At some point after Christmas it seems things started to shift. Joking around was edging on flirting, touching more than necessary - just brief, brushes of hands and shoulders.

One day we were sitting at the table, math books spread open and he asks, "what do you think your parents would say if I asked you out?"

I think he kind of wanted to ask them himself, but I went and asked instead. They said yes. We went to a movie and out to eat - it was February 7, 1992. He was 23, I was 17.

He took me to my senior prom.

In June he didn't go to my highschool graduation.

In July we were still dating, but it was strange. There was definitely something off.

In August we broke up.

I still saw him at church and all the various social events that were an extension of church. After a while the friendship returned. We both dated other people - in my case it wasn't the best thing I could have done, but I did it anyway. By the next summer we were talking regularly again. Going out in the same group of friends and having a good time. One night we were sitting in the church parking lot talking about dating - how hard it was to find someone to date who was a Christian and shared the same beliefs. Shortly after that we were talking one night about a new movie (how horrible - I'm not even sure what the movie was!), he looks at me and asks if I want to go see it. I replied that would be fine - at this point not treating it as a date, just going out.

I don't remember when, but at some point he said he wanted to talk to me after the movie. I said OK, so we went across the street for ice cream.

He looked at me and said, "you remember we were talking about how hard it is to find someone to date?"

I responded that yes, I remember.

He says, "well, I was thinking, it is hard, but it isn't like we need to find a lot of people, just one."

"yeah, that's true", I said.

"Yeah, so, I was wondering... what do you think about going out again?"

That was in August. I went off to my second year at college in the fall and he came and picked me up a couple of weekends a month to go home. I chose not to return to the school for the spring semester for various reasons. February 7, 1994 we went out for dinner - at the now defunct Spaghetti Warehouse. After dinner he took me back to the church (the one we met at, and by that time he was living in) - said he left something inside. He asked me to marry him there. Two years after our first date. He was 25, I was 19.

Nine months later we were married in that same church. 18 months after our wedding our first child was dedicated in that same church, my husband was ordained in that church, and 12 months after our oldest child's dedication, our second child was dedicated there.

Yesterday was our 15th anniversary.

I love you, Tom, and I'm glad I get to spend the next 15 years with you, too.

Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made. Our times are in his hand who saith, 'A whole I planned, youth shows but half; Trust God: See all, nor be afraid!
~Robert Browning

underwear where?

2009-11-23T09:24:00.002-05:00

A friend of mine, Jen, has the most amusing way of posting about day to day events and happenings. She has had a few posts recently regarding, um, undergarments. Which made me think of this...

I have recently noticed that the laundry has been eating my underwear - that or they just walk away on their own. Then I started noticing that my missing underwear were routinely turning up on my daughter. Hmmm... I see a connection. So, I went to grab some new underwear thinking my old new underwear would stay in the possession of the daughter, and I would get the new. She was with me. She pointed out that there were 2 kinds of underwear I could buy that she wouldn't wear. One kind I wear periodically, one kind - well, I'm not that old yet :-) However, neither are the ones I find most comfortable for normal wear. So now I have to figure out how to keep her away from them! UGH

Meanwhile... more importantly... I need to go write!

Ciao!

family movie night... sort of

2009-11-21T23:00:00.007-05:00

My parents are here for the weekend. I should be busily typing away on my proposal, but I'm not. Instead, we went to the movies. It is rather interesting that the last movie I saw in theatres was also a Sandra Bullock movie... The Proposal. No, I don't get out much! But, tonight, we went to see The Blind Side... what an AWESOME movie! I really enjoyed it a lot.

My husband didn't get to go, though. He was still working - you know, like I should have been doing (and still should be doing). He was good... So, I think, I may go to the movie again to go with him. That is how good the movie is - I usually can't watch a movie more than once. But this... I told my kids, this one might be a gotta buy it movie!

I guess I haven't blogged in a while. Life gets in the way sometimes. I was supposed to have my proposal defended in September or October, I had a mini breakdown of sorts - kind of freaked out on my self. I was so stressed out I couldn't function and the whole proposal went the way of the wind. Not a good plan for someone who wants to graduate with an advanced degree :-( So, the new date is December 16... Deep breath... Into the deep end we go.

We made it through soccer and football. Josh had such a good time with the football. Now that football is over he has started wrestling. He seems to do much better with these sports than he ever did with baseball. Here are a couple pics from football:

Mitch is done with soccer and waiting for basketball to start. She had a good soccer season, although the team didn't do so well. Made up of a lot of new to the game kids. She was team captain, goalie and general play where the coach put her because she plays both defense and offense well. Here are some soccer pics...

friend had this on fb... I like it...

2009-08-25T06:57:00.001-05:00

ROMEO AND JULIET lyrics KILLERS
[Dire Straits cover]

A lovestruck Romeo, sings the streets of serenade
Laying everybody low with a love song that he made
Find a streetlight, steps out of the shade
Says something like, "You and me, babe, how about it?"

Juliet says, "Hey, it's Romeo, you nearly gave me a heart attack"
He's underneath the window, she's singing 
Hey, la, my boyfriend's back"
You shouldn't come around here, singing up at people like that
Anyway what you gonna do about it?

Juliet, the dice was loaded from the start
And I bet and you exploded in my heart
And I forget, I forget the movie song
When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet? 

Come up on different streets, they both were streets of shame
Both dirty, both mean, yes and the dream was just the same
And I dream your dream for you and now your dream is real
How can you look at me, as if I was just another one of your deals?

Well, you can fall for chains of silver, you can fall for chains of gold
You can fall for pretty strangers and the promises they hold
You promised me everything, you promised me thick and thin
Now you just say, "Oh, Romeo, yeah, you know
I used to have a scene with him"

Juliet, when we made love, you used to cry
I said, "I love you like the stars above, "I love you till I die"
There's a place for us, you know the movie song
When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?

I can't do the talk like the talk on the TV
And I can't do a love song like the way it's meant to be
I can't do everything but I'd do anything for you
Can't do anything except be in love with you

And all I do is miss you and the way we used to be
All I do is keep the beat, the bad company
And all I do is kiss you, through the bars of a rhyme
Juliet, I'd do the stars with you any time

Juliet, when we made love, you used to cry
You said, "I love you like the stars above, I'll love you till I die"
There's a place for us, you know the movie song
When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet? 

A lovestruck Romeo, he sings the streets of serenade
Laying everybody low with a love song that he made
Find a convenient streetlight, steps out of the shade
He says something like, "You and me, babe, how about it?"

LyricsBay | ROMEO AND JULIET lyrics KILLERS

oh the panic...

2009-08-17T21:29:00.003-05:00

I do not like stress. I do not like deadlines. I believe I have been that way forever. I have something I should have finished by now. I don't. I'm not even 100% sure what to do to get it finished. Today was a STRESSFUL day at the lab - I tried - I really tried - to get this thing done, but the brain did not want to function. I literally could not focus, could not think. It really stinks. The worst? It is totally self-induced. It did not need to be like this.

Maybe I'm not meant to have a career. Deadlines are a part of life, right? I guess I can't avoid them just by dropping off the radar. Too bad.

Know what would be great? If I could type up my stuff for the poster as quickly as I'm typing up this blog post. Yup. That would be sweet.

So, uh, pray if it comes to mind, OK? Now - I'm off to see if I can type the words I need to be typing.

just in case you ever change your mind...

2009-07-27T19:31:00.002-05:00

Yeah, you don't want to know how that title appeared - one of those brain jumps that takes you from point A to point C and the two are not related!!

Well... we took a vacation. Yes, it was a mini-vaca, but it was the first one I've had in years! A couple of weeks ago some friends of ours had their 25th anniversary party (their anniversary is actually tomorrow - so happy anniversary Larry & Sandy!) and we went out for that. It coincided with their youngest son (who is one of "my boys") being home on leave (which was convenient since he and his brother did the party), so we got to see him, too.

We camped at a local park for the weekend - Tom went home Saturday night since he needed to be at church Sunday. Sunday night I went to the campground with Collin and Mitch and collected all the stuff we had and we relocated our campsite to our friends' yard. Josh went off to hang out at his friend's house - which was good, 'cause he was annoying the crap out of his sister! Sunday through Tuesday Mitch & I were at our friends... swimming (she did - although she got tossed in a couple times), 4-wheeling (again, her) and just hanging out. Went to see some other friends... out to eat a couple times. My friend had Monday off, so we got to hang out for the day - she had to work Tuesday, so I was at the house with the two kids (one mine, one hers) and discovered that they really like their beauty sleep... I got stuff organized to pack and finally gave up on them waking up and went out for breakfast. I was just about done when Mitch called to say she was up :-) So I went back to get her and we went wandering around the Bay for the day!

I had to leave Tuesday night - but she stayed with them one more night... had a blast I guess. Wed she went to another friend's house and stayed there for the next week and a half. J stayed at his friends, too - so, the hubby and I had no kids for almost TWO weeks!!!! Wow...

Sadly - they are home now. OK, it isn't that sad... I do enjoy them, when they aren't killing each other!

Guess what - for the first time in a long time - maybe ever - I really think I have a project that will work! I'm sooooo excited. I am going to start writing my proposal next week and schedule my defense. Then hopefully - if things work out well - I'll have what I need to get a paper out by the first of the year!! Sweet progress... I can smell it - and it is a good smell :-)

OK - got to go back to the lab and start my cultures up for tomorrow!!

I'm moving

2009-06-29T21:05:00.003-05:00

no, not real life moving, but my blog is moving... I think... no, it really is. I have a new one set up at http://tnk94.wordpress.com/ - I think I like the options there better... More toys... and you know the thing about the most toys... OK, already, I *know* that isn't true - but it cracks me up anyway. So... see you over at wordpress :-) (I'm keeping this one though, just in case...)

the wonderful (?) adventures of us

2009-06-27T22:54:00.003-05:00

hmmm... seems I'm a once-a-month type blogger. I may have to work on that... no worries, it's on the list. Of course, I might need to mention that there are a *few* things on the list ahead of improving my blogging frequency, but you know, nothing *that* major... just simple things like get my PhD, spend time with my family, try to remember how to keep house (oh, just forget that one... why bother!)

So, earlier in the week my darling, thoughtful, wonderful daughter says, "mom (that's me) I think you and I (note, only 2 people mentioned) should go to the movies."

Hmmm... that sounds good to me. OK, we'll go Saturday.

Well, today is Saturday (in case you didn't know that... ok, by the time this posts, it may well be Sunday, but I digress...)

So, since the initial idea the plan has evolved to include a friend of said daughter. This morning she calls the friend. Turns out instead of the planned movie, they want to go see a different movie - one that *I* have no interest in. OK, fine, whatever. Her brother also wants to see it, so now the kids (my 2 plus 1) are going to see one movie while I go to another... alone. My movie starts at 3:20, their movie at 3:40.

We get there and I find out...

the 3:40 showing is the IMAX movie (read more $$$)
the friend is at a party and cannot make it for the 3:10 regular movie, she will just make it in for the 3:40

Great... I pay more $ than I ever thought I would for movie tickets and I go in to my movie, leaving my children at the tables by the concession stands to wait for the friend and their movie time.

Movie is starting, I'm watching, ugh... I got a text.

movie is sold out - friend cannot get ticket, can we exchange tix for 7:00 show? (fine - I am NOT happy)
can't exchange w/o credit card (bought them with the debit card), can we (M & friend) go now and J go later? (UM - NO!)
I LEAVE my movie to go see about exchanging tix
no one at the counter
I slap the tix back on table w/ my kids and tell them they can go to THIS movie NOW or not at all and stomp/rush back to my movie

I was fuming at that point... thankfully I went to see a comedy and by the time it was over I was out of my fuming mode and back to human. I also got to wander the mall alone for a while before they finished. M was sure I was going to land her in more trouble than she wanted to deal with and met me apologizing and telling me she'd pay for the tix and all kinds of stuff. Funny thing is - I was over it, so no need, but if I hadn't been over it - all of that would not have mattered one bit.

Yes, I am a moody mother.

Yes, I was pissed - and I mean royally, stinking, ridiculously PISSED! I haven't been so upset at them - her specifically - in a LONG time.

Yes, they need to get me in the right mood if they want something.

Whatever! Such is life.

Meanwhile - there is a store in that mall I LOVE. It has artsy stuff - kind of earthy and different. It is awesome and SOOOO ME! I don't remember the name of it - Kirkwood's or something? I could have spent $200 easily in there today on frames and art... but I was good and spent $0.

Totally switching gears here...

My daughter was invited to be part of the "Back to School" program for the middle school... I think there were 6 or 8 names on the list who were invited (half of them were her good friends!). She has made quite a name for herself in leadership at that school. I have to say I am quite proud of her. As long as she continues to use her 'powers' for good, she will do well wherever she goes and whatever she does. She is part of just about everything she can be - a good number of these things are by invite/teacher recommendation only. Peer counseling, junior national honor's society, college for every student, Odyssey of the Mind, soccer, basketball, softball, select chorus, general chorus, school drama... I think there are just a few things she *could* do that she doesn't - and honestly, a few of those are things her brother does and she tries to avoid being in the same activities :-)

Hmmm... I feel like I'm leaving my son out if I don't say something about him here, but there really isn't much to say at the moment. He is, however, slowly growing out of the goofy kid and every now and then I see glimpses of the person he is becoming. As sad as it is to lose the little boy, I am so impressed with his character and heart and the teenager he is growing into. Don't get me wrong - he still drives me INSANE with the constant talking - unfortunately about things I have NO INTEREST IN AT ALL! (must everything be a planned out strategy for the defeat and total decimation of some imagined enemy?) But then, sometimes, he pops out with something incredible. I told him today that his best friend's mom has cancer. He looks at me and says, "oh, that sucks - that really sucks." OK, maybe not the most profound words ever, but if you could have seen his face... he was really understanding the depth of how much this "sucks" for all of them.

Not at all setting a precedent here, but since I've mentioned the kids - I think I'll toss my darling, wonderful husband into the mix as well. He decided in January that he *had* to do something about his weight. He was (I think) at his heaviest ever and really needed to do something. I think he is down ~80 pounds so far! He is doing amazingly well with it, although I think right now he is in the middle of some serious "wanting real food" cravings. He isn't bombing by any means, but it is slowing him down just a little. He has just done so well with it - I am very impressed and proud of him for it!

So basically... all of them are great... then there is me. Pretty much, I don't seem to have it in me to do much of anything right. Not sure if it is doing the wrong thing or doing the right thing the wrong way... have to think on that...

Not me Monday???

2009-06-01T18:07:00.003-05:00

So... in bloggy land apparently there is this cool little "not me Monday" thing - you know things that happened... er, um, certainly did not happen... and you want to 'fess up, or they may be mildly amusing - or downright hilarious to others... Hmmm... well, for starters, I *never* do ANYTHING like that.

Nope.

Not me.

I was not still awake and playing on the computer at 1 AM - nope... not me.

Since I was not up late, I had no trouble getting up and I certainly did not let my 12 yo out the door with athletic socks rolled in a roll around his ankles... nope. not me.

I did not set up a whole experiment at the lab that was supposed to be synchronized and equally infected and realize after I set it up that I forgot 2 samples... then I did not plop them together and add them in after the fact... nope. not me!

THEN - I did not decide to STAY at the lab and play on the computer instead of going home to see my family and cook dinner for them. Nope - absolutely, definitely... not me!

Ha - this could be fun... I'm pretty sure I usually have more than my share of doozies to avoid owning up to!

iPod uh oh...

2009-06-01T18:03:00.002-05:00

...my iPod is apparently no longer an iPod... but I'm not sure what it is :-( It is frozen - I can't reset it, it isn't recognized by my computer...

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

budget blah...

2009-05-31T22:18:00.004-05:00

Dh and I have been saying for a while that we need to put a budget together - we haven't had a functional one since we moved here.

Well, I finally decided the same thing I decided YEARS ago - I just need to do it. So I did. What I found is disturbing, and it goes something like this...

my math stinks - my "tithe" I had calculated and been giving right along was, well, something less than that :-(
I blow money on stupid junk - i.e. Starbucks every morning and Auntie Anne's Pretzels every time we go to the mall (living 10 minutes from 2 malls is NOT all it is cracked up to be)
My husband is a bad grocery shopper - but boy do we eat well :-) ...he has no clue what he spends!
we *should* have (but don't) a sizable chunk in the bank... sadly, I cannot account for the whereabouts of that "chunk"...
*IF* we can maintain this budget - we should be able to put said chunk away which will accomplish a couple of things:

pay off the last of our non-school loan debt within a year
have money saved for next years tax bill
have the money required to start replacing cars in 2 years

Now - I don't know about you, but that sounds REALLY good to me...

So, WHY - if I can SEE it on "paper" (computer) and WANT the results... WHY is it sooooo hard to keep from blowing the piddly here and there pieces that keep us from getting there?

Kinda the same thing I go through with wanting to lose weight... I really want it, but I just don't put the effort into getting there...

I'm putting in the effort now... I really wanna get there!

(seriously considering mom's clothing allowance idea... for ALL of us!)

What a month...

2009-05-27T21:52:00.004-05:00

Sometimes things happen that just wipe me out. Totally. There were a few of those. I still don't have the energy to even begin to describe them, but they were doozies. I always try to be sort of careful what I say here - kind of sad since this should be my outlet, but there is the fact that it is public and anything you say can and will be distorted and used against you professionally or personally. Hm - not sure where that came from - not personal experience, just things I hear of happening to other people!

Life here is busy as always... school softball season is over for Mitchie, so now she just has the city league. Her father noticed a week or so ago that her glove was WAY to small (she lost her good glove) so we went out on a mission to replace it. She is a lefty, so that had its difficulties! We found one at the sporting goods shop down the road - thankfully it was on clearance, it was still $70!!

Josh is playing Little League and enjoys it a lot. He does pretty well when he works and practices, but he doesn't always see the need to practice. He somehow has an inflated view of his abilities - now really, how do you tell a 12 year old he is not close to the best player on the team without totally crushing him? I haven't figured it out yet.

I've decided I don't know anything about how to parent teenagers. How much control, what to let slide and what to make an issue out of... I feel like I'm totally flying by the seat of my pants! Is it a bad thing that 3 of the 6 people my 13 yo texts the most are over 17 AND male? They are just buddies, but I still wonder if I'm being stupid by allowing it. Then again - can I really not allow it? How would I stop it? They are good kids... and one in particular, well, he is her future husband you know - and his mother and I did start that ball rolling - I just didn't expect them to catch it :-) -I guess they have to chat occasionally :-)

Thing is - I'm really not concerned about any of it. I guess what I second guess is my judgment! She is a good kid and knows what she thinks and what she wants. I've seen her interact with these people and others, and I know she tells them what she thinks. So - I really don't want to go overboard on her... I pay attention, I know what is going on. Surely if there was cause for concern, I would be concerned - right?? Praying that I have that discernment!!

The boy child, on the other hand, he has a habit of talking incessantly about absolutely nothing, but never really talking about important things - so I'm not altogether sure what is going on in his head - unless it really is just fantasy, baseball and random odd facts!! That could be! Although - he has taken to telling me things recently that I really didn't need to know. I keep telling him those things are "daddy conversations". For some reason, he insists that his mother should be kept aware of his journey through puberty - why, I do not know! BUT - I am the one who has spent their whole lives making a big deal out of wanting them comfortable about talking to me about anything... So - this is where we get :-)

OK - enough for this post. LOL

I realized something...

2009-05-01T21:55:00.002-05:00

OK, this has been a realization in process - not a "WHAM! there you go" type thing.

When dh and I were married (14+ years ago) we were BROKE! As in - we had enough food to eat, we had a place to live and we had a car to drive, but there was no room for extras and most of those necessities had some God-sized stories to go along with them! I worked for about twice minimum wage and dh was in seminary, working nights as a janitor.

Boom... here comes baby. We move. Dh drops school for a semester, I'm not working, he is an assistant pastor and working at a factory. Still broke. Again - soooooo many examples of God providing during those times. Things that only God could do. A second baby comes along and it begins to look like some major upheaval is happening.

Boom... we move NORTH - to nowhere! In the beginning I was miserable, I had no friends, I wanted to leave - and by the beginning, I pretty much mean until my kids were old enough to go to school! Dh is pastoring a little, small town church, commuting to seminary 2 to 4 days a week and I'm stuck with 2 babies/toddlers and we are still broke!

Then, things start changing. The kids got older - as they do! The husband graduated from seminary, and then got a second master's degree. The kids went to school and I started school. I started getting more comfortable with where we were and the way things were - I think it had more to do with figuring out where I fit in than anything else!

Dh gets a job to work along with pastoring and money starts becoming not quite so tight. Still not enough to be careless or not plan things out well, but we are starting at this point to be able to handle our own emergencies and deal with things. That whole process was full of seeing God work, too... we didn't want the kids in daycare and God worked it out so that they were at the after school program for a while and one of my friends kept them for a while. It was cool how it all worked out.

Then, it is time to move again. I graduated and wanted to go off to grad school. That required a major change for all of us! One of the changes has been that over the last 3 years we have gradually been able to move out of that mode of being broke all the time into one where we have money to spend. We know the difference is there, and to a large degree we are trying to be good stewards with it - paying off debt, saving, that sort of thing.

BUT

and this is the purpose of the post.

What we have now is every bit as much a result of God's provision as the "miracle" provisions that appeared when we had nothing. What I notice, however, is that we are not as quick to recognize it now - when we seem to "expect" it to be there. Does that make sense? Every now and then I'll look around and be in awe of where God has brought us - in so many ways, not just financially. But then I realize that I'm not nearly thankful enough, and not nearly often enough. It should be normal, not on rare occasions!

Now, don't get me wrong... it's not that we are loaded now, but we are more comfortable. And compared to days when I didn't know if I could go grocery shopping, or have basic car repairs done - it is a HUGE jump to be able to call the mechanic and take the car to get it fixed when it needs it, instead of waiting for a major problem to develop!

The point... in this long, rambly post... is to remember God is providing for us all the time - whether it is coming through with huge things in tight circumstances or providing the daily needs and the extras we enjoy. HE provides and HE is faithful... WE need to always be thankful.

freebie day...

2009-05-01T21:34:00.002-05:00

The coolest thing happened Thursday... I stopped at Breugger's on the way to the lab and ordered a bagel (I know, what a strange thing to order at Breuggers!!) By the time I got to the window the cashier was frantically trying to pull her jacket on, give me my bagel and take payment while the fire alarm was blaring behind her insisting they leave the building. I rarely have cash and so as was normal for me, I was paying with my debit card. She started to ring it through, then got frustrated and gave it back to me and said, "never mind - just go. We have to get out of here!" So my bagel was free.

Later in the morning a friend and I walked over to Starbuck's. We are regular enough over there that the "barista" knows what we want and usually has it ready by the time we get to the register. Well, I wasn't going to buy anything this day. I tried hanging back enough to make it look like I wasn't in line, but he sent my drink to get made. We got to the register and he looked at me and says, "are you getting your regular?" I replied that I wasn't, and he looked over at the counter where my drink was in progress and wasn't sure what to do. I laughed and said that I guessed I was getting one, and went to pay for it. He said no, that's fine, don't worry about it - there you have it - a free latte!

I like free :-)

prayer time in bloggy land

2009-04-22T18:07:00.003-05:00

The following is quoted from a blog I read frequently. It is quite thought provoking, I think. I love these people who are able to blog and have certain blog posts turn out like devotionals or something. It is pretty neat. (Another blog I read that follows that pattern is this one!! It might be my favorite... :-) or maybe this one...) Anyway - on to the post I was referring to:

Why bother praying?

If you've been reading my blog for long, you've heard it. Either here or perhaps on someone else's blog:

Pray for Stellan!

This journey with our baby of late, and all this talk about prayer for him, has really gotten me thinking. Since being in the hospital with Stellan for a month now, I've had plenty of time to contemplate some deeper issues regarding prayer that I don't always think much about during my day to day life. You know, because I am usually deep in diapers, dirty dishes, drool and drama.

And the emails I have gotten in my inbox, as well as comments I've received on my blog indicate that there are similar questions about prayer out there, too. I would be willing to guess some of you who have not asked are also wondering. So I have spent some time during these last few days sorting out in my mind my beliefs about the purpose of prayer.

And, well since this is my blog and all, I'd like to share them here. Keep in mind, if you will, that I am neither a minister nor a theological expert. I am just a mama who loves the Lord. Well I did get a Bible degree, in addition to my other art-related majors. Everyone who attended the Christian college I did was required to double major in Bible. Hopefully it's still like that, but I don't know. I'm not in touch with my alma mater much.

You know, because of all the diapers, dirty dishes, drool and drama I deal with on a day to day basis.

Anyway.

As I said, I've been thinking about the purpose of prayer. Since so many people have been praying for Stellan, I can't help but wonder if quantities of prayers reach God's ears any faster or better than one single, solitary prayer. Have you wondered if more people praying for Stellan make it more likely that God will spare our son's life?

Additionally, I actually have heard rumblings of people believing that prayers by me might have more weight in God's eyes, or that if a certain prayer request is posted on my blog that God might be more likely to change His mind about a certain prayer request, since so many more people would be likely to pray, given the large exposure here.

There are things I have had to try to balance in my own head. In fact, I have an entirely separate post coming soon on the idea of spreading prayer requests for others in the blogosphere using my blog. Wait for it. I think you'll appreciate that post.

But today I want to talk about the purpose of prayer. I want to set the record straight about my prayers versus yours, about quantity of prayers, prayers said by believers versus prayers by people who either don't know the Lord or don't usually even pray in the first place.

And, most of all, I want to look at the question, "Why bother praying?"

I have written before about my belief that God is going to do whatever God wants to do. He is sovereign, He knows all. Before Stellan even went into surgery yesterday, He already knew the outcome. Before Stellan was even born and before anyone on earth had ever said a single solitary prayer for him, God already knew the outcome of Stellan's surgery.

Doesn't that just blow your mind?

And, if you're human, which I am guessing most of you who read my blog are as I've never had any documented hits from outer space, then you probably have wrestled with other questions about prayer, too.

Like, if God already is going to do whatever He is going to do, then why on earth do we need to bother praying in the first place!? What's the point!?

Well, I am so very glad you asked. I am here today to tell you exactly what the point is.

In fact, I have touched on the purpose of prayer here before. Remember this?

God answers prayers. Just not always in the way or in the time frame we want. God answers prayers, but the outcome we hope for, and beseech God for, is not always the outcome God has in mind.

God hears our prayers. But God still does what He, in His sovereignty, is going to do. He listens to our prayers, hears us each and every time we speak to Him, think to Him, or even groan to Him. God is affected by our prayers and He wants us to pray.

But God is still God and our prayers do not change God or His mind, at least not in the way we sometimes think. He knew we were going to pray before we ever prayed. He knows the past, present and future all at once. He listens to our prayers, but our prayers don't change things. God changes things.

Hmmm. If God changes things, then why should we bother to pray? Can more prayers, or very heartfelt prayers, be the impetus in changing God's mind about something? Maybe, but with a twist. See, if God were to change His mind about something*, because of our fervent prayers, it will be something that God already knew would happen. He knew that thousands of fervent prayers would be lifted for Stellan. So, maybe He changed His mind about what He was going to do, but He is omniscient, so He already knew He would change His mind. God knows what He is going to do regarding every thing, small and large, that happens in all of our lives from now until the day Jesus returns and we all take up residence somewhere besides earth.

*And there is some Biblical evidence about times when it surely does appear that God changed His mind. And regarding the idea that larger numbers of praying people are more likely to impact God? I have no hard evidence in either direction but, to be honest, my gut is telling me that God's will doesn't exactly work on a numbers game like we think it might. However, the more people who pray for someone, the more those people who are doing the praying will see God's glory in the outcome, and be themselves impacted by prayer, so more is certainly still better! Just not in the way it might seem at first glance.

Hard to comprehend? I know! It always helps me to remember that I am human. My mind is finite. I cannot be expected to truly understand the infinite. My mind, try as it might, can not get completely wrapped around God and His sovereign ways. Sure, it's fun and valuable to spend time in thought about deep issues concerning Christianity.

But.

At some point, I have also found that it's okay to let go of my need to understand everything about God. I can study up on God as much as I want, which of course I ought to, and still never reach ultimate understanding on this earth. That, my friends, is where faith comes in. I want to love God, and, ultimately, to trust that whatever He decides is best. To have faith in His omniscient ways regarding prayer, even when I don't understand. Even when I don't see.

In fact, Jesus said to those on earth who saw Him in the flesh, "Because you have seen Me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." John 20:29

I, for one, have never seen Jesus in the flesh. Yet I believe. My faith in Him allows me to overlook seemingly insurmountable human roadblocks to my prayer, as well. If God already knows what He's going to do, then why pray? Well, I pray because God tells me to, and because I believe He hears me. I have faith that Jesus was real, did actual miracles, died on a cross, and hears me when I talk to Him.

I hope you believe that, too. In fact, as Katie, one of my blog readers said so concisely to me recently,

Jesus really lived, he really healed people, he really said he was the only way to heaven, he really died on the cross, and he really walked from the grave and appeared to over 500 witnesses. What that means for your life can be questioned. That it happened, cannot. It is verifiable.

In fact, Jesus is the most documented person in history. If we reject his existence, Plato, Socrates, Alexander The Great, Ghengas Khan, William Wallace and Leif Ericsson are in real trouble.

Why pray? Jesus was real, God made the earth and all humans, and so for one, it is our responsibility, nay our joy and privilege to be able to communicate with the Creator of all that is, and to His Son, who died for us all.

You see, prayer is simply talking with God. We should talk to God like we talk with our friends. If we love Him, and have a relationship with God, we will want to chat with Him. In fact, the more I thought about this question of why bother praying for, say, Stellan's healing if God already knows what's going to happen, the more I realized that the very question implies a misconception about prayer in the first place.

The purpose of prayer is not to try to get out of God what we want.

Of course, petition is one part of prayer, to be sure. God wants us to bring our requests before Him, as long as we understand that the outcome is entirely up to God, not us. But praying with a favor for God, to ask him to heal Stellan, for example, while all fine and good, is not the only kind of prayer!

Because God is good, holy and perfect, He is worthy of our prayers. We are called in the Bible to pray to God, simply to talk to Him, to adore Him, to confess our sins directly to him, to offer Him thanksgiving for what He has done, to share with Him about our day, as well as to come before Him with supplication, requesting a need that we or someone we know has.

I, for one, pray to God to get to know His heart better, to be in communion with Him so that I will be able to better discern His will for my life. I pray to draw myself close to the One who already holds me in the palm of His hand, and to bring myself in accordance with Him, and not vice versa!

Don't for one second ever let the fact that you don't pray enough, or are horribly sinful, hold you back. Because if you are, you are just like me, and in fact, we are exactly the people God wants to hear from!

Anyone can pray to God. Christians and those of any other religion. (Remember, I'm not even religious myself.) Those who believe in God, and those who don't. Those who faithfully pray each day down on their knees and those who have only ever said grace before a meal. I can guarantee you that my prayers, as well as the earnest prayers to the one true living God, and His Son Jesus, prayed by Billy Graham, prostitutes, ordained priests, pirates, grocery bag boys, Presidents and young children are all equally heard, and valued, by God.

So go ahead, keep praying for Stellan. And keep contemplating the real purpose of prayer in the first place.

Marley & Me...

2009-04-11T11:10:00.002-05:00

Just finished watching the movie... I cried. Leave it to a dog story to make me cry. People - nah, not so much, dogs... oh yeah. I think the only time my kids have ever seen me cry was when we had to give away our dog. That was horrible.

I love dogs - and I could so relate to the torture and frustration with the dog and trying to deal with the wildness, the chewing everything in site, trying to deal with a psycho dog and babies... and loving the fact that the dog would watch out for the babies and was so gentle and good with them. Always the good that overwhelmingly outdid the frustrations with the dog.

I want a dog so badly - and so do my kids. But I know right now is not the time to push that one. My husband is not a dog person and I do way too little around the house as it is. If I added a dog into the mix, he might snap. It would not be pretty. The kids don't even take care of the cat properly, so a dog is out of the question. :-) *If* I was to get a dog... a golden retriever, a bull dog or another St. Bernard... I'm not really that picky... over 50 or 60 lb (although I think 150 is my limit which makes a Saint a little questionable).

it seems to be that time...

2009-04-07T20:33:00.003-05:00

Time to go hunt down the perfect bathing suit for a 13 year old girl to wear. Talk about impossible... it needs to be a 13 yo girl's style, not a 60 yo woman's... it needs to cover enough to be modest without looking ridiculous. It needs to be "cool" without being trashy... Is there a reason the clothing made for teens is better suited to... well, no one really - it is just horrible!

Sometimes... I don't think the suit exists.

Oh - did I mention that LL Bean is a little too expensive for the child who will likely not wear the suit again next year???

What a pain...

Seussical

2009-04-05T08:42:00.003-05:00

This afternoon is the last show for the run of Seussical. Th kids had the official cast party Friday night, an impromptu gathering last night at Denny's (my dad and I went) and then apparently after the final show today they are going to one of the leads houses for another party! It is a little interesting being the parent of a middle-schooler who is in the high school play - not entirely sure how good the idea is of parties with seniors. BUT... those older kids are really pretty good with the younger group... a few of the seniors seem to have adopted the middle school group - Mitch included, of course.

Oh well... they have done a very nic job! I'm sure they are all going to be relieved that the work is over, but I think they will miss the activity!

life goes on...

2009-04-04T13:19:00.002-05:00

ooh baby life goes on...

OK, it was in my head - now it will be in yours! Maybe that means it will leave mine??? We'll see.

Last night was opening night for "Seussical" here - my daughter was a Who and a hunch. We enjoyed the play a lot, but there were some huge boo-boos. Gertrude was flat the WHOLE time - yikes - a few spots were bad enough to make me cringe. The Wickersham's were pretty good - but they were flat in a few spots and totally off in one spot. They all needed more volume. Sour Kangaroo, Horton, JoJo, the mayor's wife and the Cat in the Hat were all well cast and did a really nice job. The kangaroo - THAT girl can SING! WOW! she was incredible.

So - can someone tell me why I watch these things critically??? Can't I just go and enjoy it? Nope. Apparently not.

Add in to that whole mix that I got sick Friday... I could feel it starting on Wednesday, by Thursday night I colud tell I was in trouble and Friday... YUCK. I didn't get to the lab until 9!!!! That is really late for me. I got very little done - felt so nasty. Head felt like it was going to explode - more mucousy junk draining than I ever remember before :-( It was nasty. Left the lab at 4:45 (early for me on any day). Had to go to the play at 7. THEN... I couldn't go to bed :-( They did the cast party last night so I had to stay up and wait for her to be done so I could go pick her up... yeah... 12:30 or so she calls! I was about to go to bed - I'd forgotten about her by then (yup - I'm a great mom!).

In closing... my daughter's quote of the day...

"I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned!"

I do not like nosey, overbearing people...

2009-04-02T19:51:00.003-05:00

OK, first... a couple of questions...
1. You have a student who gets great grades, is loved by everyone - students and teachers alike, gets along with pretty much everyone and never gives anyone any trouble. Said student is personable, not given to extreme displays of emotion and usually in a very good mood. Student comes in one day kind of down - having an off day. Says s/he is feeling kind of depressed that day.

What do you do???

2. You have both the aforementioned student and the student's sibling in the same class. One day said student makes a flippant remark regarding the parents allowing the siblings to beat each other up. You have spent 7 months with both children in your class and never seen any evidence of any mistreatment on either of their parts, nor evidence of mistreatment at home.

What do you do???

Apparently you send the child to the school counselor to get the help she so obviously needs and is being neglected by her parents. And, apparently if you are the counselor you grill the child about her home life:
do your parents hit you?
how do they punish you?
how does this make you feel?

My child - brilliant girl - says, "*my* home life is fine, you should go help someone who needs it."

Seriously - city school... I'm sure there are lots of kids who need rescuing... leave mine alone!!!

I get that they have jobs to do, but I seriously do not see a need to interfere there. If they over react like that for these things, how on earth are they going to deal with or be able to discern where real need is???

I'm really irked - can you tell????

Oh - icing on the cake... this particular teacher - my daughter and her friends have told me repeatedly that she treats my son particularly badly and she is bad enough in general that the kids are sort of afraid of her and she yells at them with great regularity to the point that her face turns red.

And *she* wants to question MY parenting????

what do you do with...

2009-04-01T08:39:00.003-05:00

a boy who seems to not have - or has lost - the filter between ears, brain and mouth???

Last night - for the second time since the weekend - we were sitting and watching tv, on the computers and talking when suddenly he makes a comment that goes like, "what the h*** do they think they are doing?" Saturday night it was, "they are a bunch of b******ds"

WHAT?

I'd say where did that come from, but I know. TV, computer, school, neighborhood... the usual suspects. What I'm more curious about is why he has suddenly decided that letting them come out of his mouth is suitable? I talked to him about it, but I got this strange blank stare that said very clearly, "I don't see what the problem is here, mom. I wanted to say something, so I said it."

For a bright kid, he can be really dense sometimes...

about the statement in the previous post where I said I don't drink... there are days I seriously rethink that decision :-/ (no freaking out here... I'm not about to go get myself trashed...)

yo ho ho and a bottle of...

2009-03-31T17:43:00.003-05:00

Oh wait, I don't drink... there goes that bottle of rum :-)

I had a whole huge post written out... then decided it was irrelevant and poorly written, so I deleted it.

Guess I'm just boring today. Oh well. Thought I better post something so it didn't seem like I disappeared!! I took some pics over the last couple of weeks - when I get a chance I'll post them!

I'll quit now before I totally bore you all :-)

another first... so proud...

2009-03-25T08:41:00.002-05:00

Went to pick up my son - he has off-site suspension for the day. Yippee. Have to take him to the off-site location at 11. Ugh.

Suissical

2009-03-24T21:21:00.003-05:00

Oh yes... before I forget...

This year's play at RMHS (Rensselaer Middle-High School) is Suissical... Mitch is a Who from Whoville. Shows are April 3 & 4 at 7:00 PM and April 5 at 2:00 PM.

There - now you know!

the music of the night...

2009-03-24T21:06:00.002-05:00

Well, OK, it wasn't *that* music... would have been pretty awesome if it was, though...

Tonight was the spring concert for the middle school. Mitchie was in the chorus and J-man was in the band. It was pretty good. These things often annoy me because there are way too many wrong notes and off pitch people, but today's was pretty good.

I asked M if the last song had the voice over in the recording - because I distinctly heard a voice, maybe a blend of 2, that stood out both in quality and strength.

No - that was me and (another girl)... we are the loudest and the best.

Well, now that we have that humility thing out of the way.

In fairness (I suppose) I will mention that she was apparently quoting the music teacher.

J plays bass guitar - he really needs more practice, but he seems to be doing fairly well with it. He is also taking piano lessons - his teacher is doing a great job at getting him into it. I love it. I have discovered it is hard having a non-musical child when you are a musical person. We watched the auditions for AI and he would turn to me and ask, "mom, was that good?" Whether they were horrible, passable or good! Oh my... he is his daddy's boy...

OTOH... you have a problem that needs solved - he's the one to do it. Mitch is capable of doing it, but will get frustrated with it, throw things and leave it on the ground while she goes off to do something more to her liking - say look at herself in the mirror. Josh will sit there and work at it and not leave it alone until he has figured out a logical answer. Well - it is logical to him, anyway, and usually he can make you see the logic in his way of thinking.

It is so interesting watching these two kids... same parents, same environment - such different responses, talents and personalities!

Speaking of the kids reminds me... we took family pictures in October - my son was about jaw or cheekbone high on me. (I just saw the picture again today, which brought this home so vividly). He is as tall as me - maybe a tad taller - now. He put on his suit (bought in December) for the concert tonight... I think it will be retired. Anyone need a size 14 boys suit????

What a weekend!!

2009-03-22T19:35:00.002-05:00

Lemme see... where to start...
locked out of bank account, hours in the car, awesome music, hugs from kids, visiting friends, texting maniac daughter, did I mention the music???

So - lets back up, shall we? Friday morning... I went to the ATM and then to Starbucks. Got up to the lab and realized I left my ATM card in the machine. At lunch time I went back to check and the machine ate my card and destroyed it. Bummer. The night before that I locked myself out of the online banking trying to authorize my hubby's computer! UGH So - no online access and no debit card. I left work just before 5 hoping to make it to the bank... nope. Too late. So, I took my car to get the oil changed and the fuel system cleaned or something... whatever they did, it helped!

Saturday... I had a whirlwind of a day already planned, now it had to include a trip to the bank to order a new card, get cash and straighten up the online banking situation! After the bank and a trip to Brueggers for bagels (yummy), the kids and I took off for what they refer to as 'home'. The music teacher at the school the kids went to before we moved puts on the most incredible shows every year - she is great at getting those kids to pull off really well done performances and her husband puts together some really nice sets! Miss Mitchie loves performing in these musicals and is quite dissapointed in the program at the school here compared to what Mrs T pulls off! Anyway, I digress... We drove up to watch their production of "The Sound of Music". They did a great job!

While we were there we stopped to see some friends - that was pretty cool. My kids both got to see their friends, I got to see my friends... not everyone, of course, but it was fun. Then we drove home - oh, we stopped in W'town on the way to get Mitch her softball glove. Then we stopped at the lab so I could get some bacteria growing - or so I thought :-( Got home about midnight.

Then... sleep... then church... chatted with friends online, cleaned up the laundry corner of the basement, cat litter cleanout (gross), grocery store, lab again, more chatting and now... I think I'm going to bed!!! I'm trying really hard to relax more on weekends - part of why I went out of town! LOL

sooo... off to bed and then start it all over again tomorrow...

what a looonnnngggg day....

2009-03-17T19:06:00.004-05:00

It started at 5:15 AM...

My daughter and I have decided to go to the gym 3 days a week... Tuesday/Thursday/Saturday.

So, today we started...

Can I just say that 5 AM comes really early???

Then I go to the lab... because, well, I live there I think. I should change my legal address. Really. I had a big experiment planned today, but it didn't pan out out the way I thought it would, so I had to reassess my direction for the day. Just about had that figured out when my darling daughter called me to say she *really* needed me to bring pain killers to the school for her... UGH... so, off I go. That was a great way to interrupt my day. Never really regained my stride when I got back. Too tired. Too sore. Too... blah.

Come home - get Mitchie to play practice, go to Wal-Mart with Josh. Spent way too much money on basically nothing! Go figure... Come home again! Got to talk to my buddies online for a while. Talked to one of "my boys" and found out he needs prayer - if you think of it, please pray for Collin!

Now, I'm getting off the computer and watching NCIS... then I might read a while.

random ramblings,,,

2009-03-14T22:07:00.002-05:00

I think it is very possible that I am addicted to facebook :-) Yes, I know - unbelievable, right? How on earth could *I* be addicted to facebook? Sad, but true... :-P

I am trying to limit my time there - and I'm doing pretty well. It is just so easy to have it running on another tab while I do searches for paper, while I blog (YES - I admit it - I have facebook logged in right now!), while I am working on the computer... even worse I can have it loaded at home AND at the lab!! Wow... sad. BUT - I do know, I am in good company...

Today was slow starting... I didn't wake up AT ALL until the sun was shining strongly in the window! On most Saturdays I have at least woken up a few hours before that, whether that translated into getting out of bed or not is a different story!! LOL We debated going out for breakfast, but then realized by the time we got showers, etc., it would be time for me to go do the things I needed to do today.

Mitch & I went to the hair dressers - turns out today is the party day for St. Patty's day. Wish I'd thought of that before I left! The hair dressers is right in the middle of the college party area and on the edge of the parade route. That was fun getting in there... Then I went to the lab - of course. Spent a couple hours there. Then we went to the mall - for a nice day, there were an awful lot of people at the mall!! Miss Mitchie found a cowboy hat and fell in love with it... so she has it (what do you mean she is spoiled, of course she isn't!!! ha!)

Guess I should be going to bed... I'm kinda tired - but kinda not, I just know I will be tired tomorrow!! We are going to Tom's grandmother's tomorrow for dinner. Yummy food :-)

'night!!

Mitchie's new favorite song...

2009-03-11T17:30:00.001-05:00

the road not taken...

2009-03-08T15:45:00.003-05:00

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
-Robert Frost

Do you ever wonder what would have happened if you had taken the other road?? Of course you do - we all do. I hope so at any rate, otherwise I may be a tad obsessive - which may be true anyway.

What if... I had waited to get married? to have kids? what if I finished school before kids? what if I had not applied to grad school? what if I picked a different lab? what if I spent more time with my kids and less time at work? what if I spent more effort on school than I do?

All of these things are really irrelevant - I know - the road not taken has nothing to do with life as it is. Just sometimes... it is interesting to think about.

*I had to come back and edit - I had a horrible grammatical error - the kind where I cringe when I see them somewhere else!!

sounds of life...

2009-03-08T15:35:00.003-05:00

The windows are open - it is gorgeous here today. The house smells so nice - getting aired out.

People are out in their yards - laughing, talking, walking...
Birds are out... Dogs are barking and running around
I hear the keyboard clicking as my husband pecks around working and/or playing on the laptop
The blender in the kitchen... Mitch and a friend talking... sounds of smoothies being made
Papers rustling and tearing, Josh muttering under his breath - a report is due tomorrow and he is working away.

I love these normal, everyday sounds... We often take a lot for granted - God has blessed us incredibly and sometimes we just need to sit and listen - and realize it!!

laugh and let the world think you're crazy...

2009-03-07T00:29:00.004-05:00

I have laughed more tonight than I have in ages... My child - the beautiful, quirky, strange one ;-) - invited a couple of friends over to spend the night. Those 3 girls have been going non-stop. The entertainment to be gleaned from children is without limit, I believe!

It started with a discussion about a YouTube video that they saw last year sometime... my daughter came home and showed it to me. This video is disgusting, repulsive and yet - it has parts that are funny. Yes, I did the proper mom thing and told her they really shouldn't have watched it. However, one line in it has become "our joke" - we can look at each other and say it and both burst out laughing. So tonight, one of the girls said something in reference to this video, M & I looked at each other and said our thing. Both girls in the back - in shocked unison - "YOUR MOM HAS SEEN IT??!!??"

Apparently we moms are not supposed to have anything to do with modern culture. Good to know.

Then we go to Starbuck's. The girls start singing Bon Jovi "Dead or Alive" at the top of their lungs when the girl opened the window to get the money.

Then we get home - keep in mind it is 10:30 at night. One girl sits on the sidewalk... she is flipping out because she stepped in mud and got her shoe dirty. We manage to get everyone IN the house. THEN one girl is too hot - I swear she was acting like she was having a hot flash. We were dying laughing at her. I told her to go outside and cool off - "we can do that???" "yes, please do..."

Suddenly I hear all this NOISE coming from my yard. I had to go out and tell them that while I had told them they could go outside, I did not tell them they could wake up the neighbors (this is where I really need to live where some of my friends live and have no neighbors to bother!!)

Then there is the whole "future husband" thing - have I mentioned him? Yes, well a friend and I decided that her son and my daughter are going to have an arranged marriage to each other (yeah - they are getting married in 10 years). So now that is this huge thing that they are "future husband/wife" and "future daughter/son-in-law" depending on who is talking... It is really funny. The two of them are hilarious about it. So, today they were trying to barter with me on the 10 years thing. I'm thinking - I don't know that 10 years matters too much right now. Just wait and see.

Now, really... if this is the match God has for both of these kids... I'll be very happy - he's a good kid and the two of them won't do much better. But really, she is 13... there are a few years of growing up between now and then. I love the stories and idea of "childhood sweathearts" or "knowing each other since we were in diapers" (although technically, he has known her since she was in diapers, but not vice versa). I also know there is no telling what happens over the next few years. Much as I really wouldn't mind the idea of controlling who she married :-)

A few months, maybe a year ago she told me I could arrange her marriage because she knew I wouldn't pick someone she couldn't live with. I told her I wanted to record that and play it back when she is 18!! LOL

So, I tried telling J I was going to do the same for him, and I even had someone in mind... but I got a strange look from him. He didn't seem to appreciate it the way his sister did. Although, then he made his own suggestion as to who it might be ... and if I do say so, it was quite a good suggestion. So, maybe I'll have to work on that one, too :-P

Can I just say... it is so cool... both my kids think it is critical that whoever they marry be a Christian!!! I love it! and... I love that they came to that conclusion without being directly told to by me or their dad!

feeling kind of off kilter...

2009-03-04T20:18:00.002-05:00

I started something... which as things do, seems to have taken on a life of its own. OK, I can handle that. I don't need total control... really, I don't... at least, I think I don't. The truth is, the life of its own is not what bothers me, it is what it represents.

My child is growing up. They both are, but the older one seems to be on fast forward...

I am on the edge with her... that edge where once we go over, I no longer get to be the confidant. Until now - and still now - I get told everything. Sometimes, things I don't want to know, but she tells me anyway (I want to know them, but I chuckle sometimes at the detail I get). I'm afraid of what happens next... what happens when she no longer tells me everything? How do I get to talk to her and know what she is feeling? How do I get to know she is making good choices? How do I get to direct her - OK, maybe that hints a little of a controlling nature... YES - I want to control every choice she makes. YES - I know I cannot do that.

I am excited to see her grow up - I really am. She is such a good kid. But the thought of losing her scares me. Will she keep on making the choices she should? What if she doesn't? This teen territory is scary!!

OK, she just took over and read this post... she says, "pshaw, you don't have anything to worry about! I'll always tell you everything." Isn't she a good kid??? OK, yeah - I'm dreaming... but I like it...

so sad to hear...

2009-03-01T20:40:00.002-05:00

I just found out tonight that a girl who was a dear friend of mine in elementary school died a year ago. Apparently she had an eating disorder - and other problems that I think stemmed from this. The actual cause of death I didn't see, but there is a CaringBridge page for her and her entries are hard to read. I haven't heard from her or spoken to her in years.

I'm just kind of sad now, I guess...

wouldn't ya just know it...

2009-03-01T14:57:00.002-05:00

One of the things I like to do - I've done it as long as I can remember - is write poems and songs. Well, as you'll see in this post - "writing" is not exactly the correct term. I usually come up with them - singing to myself at night, in the shower or in the car... but by the time I get to where I can actually "write" them down... they are mostly gone! Just figures, right??? When my kids were small I made up songs to sing to them. I think I managed to write out ONE of them!! So, the other day I was in the shower and started humming... then words got added to the humming... I was really liking this tune and the words that were going with it. Wow... I really have to try and write this one down... get out of the shower, dry off... yeah... nothing left except the refrain line - "come now, let me show you how to dance" or earlier in the song it went - "come now is the time to dance". I can tell you the gist of it... it had to do with a person making their way through the dance of life and a heart being broken, taken down to nothing and God comes in and says if you give me the chance, *I* will teach you how to dance.

It was soooo cool. I get so irritated that I lose the ideas as quickly as I get them!

I do this with ideas for experiments and questions, too. Or things I need to write for school... I will have great ideas at just the time I can't write them down!!! Then, of course, by the time I get to the place I could write them down - nothing. All gone.

sometimes songs just describe you (me)

2009-03-01T14:55:00.001-05:00

"Somewhere in the Middle" ~Casting Crowns

Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle

Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves

Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle

Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle

Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You're by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I'm caught in the middle,
caught in the middle

in theory a great day...

2009-02-28T16:26:00.004-05:00

no kids (one is at grandma's the other is at REVOLVE in Rochester)
date night last night
scenic country drive w/ dh
went to Vermont
out to lunch (a late one) w/ dh

It all sounds so nice :-) All I have to do is add one more, little thing to make all of it not quite so enjoyable.
6. I woke up with a cold that settled in with a vengeance!!!

Oh... and maybe I'll mention here... my car sounds like it is ready to blow up or fall apart - kinda sad, actually. Not planning on a new car for a couple of years - hopefully this one will make it that far :-(

OK, a bit of a gripe, that really has nothing to do with me... I read a few blogs on a regular basis - some of them belong to people I have never met and there is a reasonable chance I will never meet. BUT... in those cases there are circumstances that have brought them large reader followings. I get really irritated when they mention or I read people who comment with the purpose to be rude, to be mean, to try and be know-it-alls. The end result often being that the blogger is hurt. Is there a reason people feel the need to be stupid? Seriously... ugh.

OK, so - I am sitting in my hubby's huge chair with an ottoman, wearing a big sweatshirt and sweatpants, laptop on my lap, kleenex box on the stool, book on the arm of the chair... and a piece of kleenex stuffed in my nose because my nose hurts so badly from rubbing it that it hurts to wipe it anymore!!! OWWWWHHHH!

Now, my plan is to get off the computer, move to the couch with a blanket and read the book that is currently on the arm of the chair... "This Side of Heaven" by Karen Kingsbury - she writes really well. My daughter and I have read almost all of her books, and everytime we see a new one we grab it!

our ideals... according to our leadership...

2009-02-21T19:26:00.002-05:00

Am I the only one who finds these statements contradictory???

"Human rights cannot interfere with the global economic crisis, the global climate change crisis and the security crises," Clinton said in talks with China's foreign minister.

"The message that we are sending around the world is that the United States intends to prosecute the ongoing struggle against violence and terrorism and we are going to do so vigilantly," Obama said. "We are going to do so effectively and we are going to do so in a manner that is consistent with our values and our ideals."

So... what are our values and ideals???

Human rights

or

the almighty dollar???

ummm... I'm still alive - I think

2009-02-20T23:45:00.003-05:00

Wow... turns out - I stink at blogging! Yikes. I'm so tired all the time and writing seems to require so much emotional energy - more than I feel I have to give much of the time - so things like blogging and personal communication often suffer... I often feel I don't have the brain power to string words together into a sentence, much less put those sentences into paragraphs that are remotely informative or entertaining. I'm noticing a problem with typing as I peck this out, as well.

OK, first... a fun little tag thingy...

We (that would be YOU and I) are going to play a game:

1. Go to the 6th picture folder and pick the 6th picture.
2. Post and wax nostalgic about said picture.
3. Tag some peeps.

Hmmm... what a picture to pop up (I archive my pictures yearly - or I try to, I haven't done 2008 yet!! AND - I've lost 2007 and the first half of 2008, possibly 2006, too due to a hard drive crash. It was very sad and ended a budding love affair with Mac. Now, I no longer want anything to do with Mac. It disappointed me severely.)

On to the picture - that is my baby at his piano recital last year. Note the Giants jersey... they boy is the biggest fan they have, with the possible exception of his father, who claims to "bleed Giants blue". Yeah - the commercial where the guy cuts his thumb and green and yellow seep out in place of red blood??? Well, that's my man - only for his Giants, not the Packers!

So, I said "first a fun little tag thingy" as if there would be a "next" or "second" - and initially I thought there would be. But... I think anything else I was going to say can wait for another post... possibly for another day. I think I want to go curl up in bed with a book and read myself to sleep. I wonder if I'll let myself sleep in tomorrow? When I wake up I'll need to get moving and head off to the lab to work for the day... because apparently, science never sleeps and the scientist should follow suit...

our Christmas...

2008-12-25T12:17:00.003-05:00

I'll do this with pictures rather than words... :-)

The tree with all the gifts...

The family all together to celebrate!

Josh - here with a Nascar game...

Mitch - check out the iPod! Thank you Maninjay & Supriya!
Josh - loving what is coming out of this gift...

They both got new laptops!!!! Yippee!

almost Christmas...

2008-12-20T14:02:00.005-05:00

My family - well part of it - is going to my grandma's for Christmas day this year. No one has been there for Christmas day in years. So, the plan is to get dinner cooked and ready at her house and then go pick her up and bring her home for Christmas. A real "grandma dinner". To me it is important - she may not be well enough to do this again, there are no guarantees that she will be around to consider doing it again. So, I think it is important - my husband agrees - he is going and taking our kids to spend Christmas day with my family at my grandmother's and he is possibly doing it without me! My wallet was lost or stolen - not sure which - late last summer. I went and filed with INS to have my green card replaced, but it still hasn't arrived yet :-( With the card, I can't go across the border. One of my brothers has a similar problem - he can't find his naturalization papers - they got misplaced in the process of moving.

I have pretty much everything done for Christmas. I'll bake tomorrow, clean and wrap presents on Tuesday and bake on Tuesday or Wednesday for stuff for Tom to take to grandma's.

I'm singing Christmas Eve at church - a duet with another lady "Mary Did you Know" and also "Do you hear what I hear?" Should be a nice service. Then we are having a family dinner here afterward - Tom's mom and dad, aunt and uncle, maybe another aunt and uncle and his grandmother and maybe his cousin and wife.

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas :-)

test

2008-12-18T07:19:00.003-05:00

I found something kinda cool the other day... thought I'd check it out. The link is in the sidebar on the right.

Let's see how signed posts look...

ugh

2008-12-06T22:09:00.003-05:00

I seem to use "ugh" as a title fairly often... right now I have a massive headache, sore throat and way too much work to do. Story of my life - I don't say much because I don't have much else to say...

I think I need to go to bed... soooo tired... what a waste of a day. Oh - except - I tried sleeping in - no go. I was going in to the lab this morning - didn't get there. I was not going to RPI today, but because dh had a meeting he forgot about, I ended up at RPI. I had a headache, didn't feel well... but I am so glad I went.

Why did I go to RPI? I'm glad you asked... My son is on the Legoes Robotics team at school and today was the competition. It was awesome. The team did OK, they weren't in the top tier, but they were in the middle of the pack. This is the first year he has done this, so it was the first one I've seen. I was impressed. Very cool.

If you are interested - go check it out!

OH MY...

2008-12-01T21:33:00.002-05:00

I just took the kids shopping for clothes for the holiday concert (which is tomorrow night... nothing like getting things done ahead of time). There are a couple of noteworthy things about this trip...

#1 - Josh was MUCH harder than Mitch to get clothes for - GO FIGURE!!!
#2 - My daughter looks much too old
#3 - My son - who has been in slims his entire life - just got a pair of size 14-husky pants!!!!!!! There is no way that child is husky... although, he did get my brother's bubble butt... LOL He is quite irate that none of the dress pants fit him, so he ended up with Dockers. Too bad - the dress pants were sharp looking.
#4 - The outfit Mitchie got is AMAZING... got to lose weight so I can wear it! 'course, it won't look nearly as good on me as it does on her :-P I'll post pictures ASAP :-)

So much to say...

2008-11-28T22:24:00.002-05:00

Have I posted since my committee meeting??? Well, last Monday I had my committee meeting and I was so stressed out about it I thought I was going to puke - literally. I went in there and gave my spiel and then discussed it with them for a while and... relief... it wasn't nearly as bad as I was afraid it was going to be. Basically, this meeting was my telling them what I wanted to pursue as my project - I think I mentioned this in the previous post. I presented 3 areas, one was my idea, one was sort of mine sort of my mentor's and the third was my mentor's. (that list is basically the order of their interest to me) I presented the areas and then we discussed their validity as potential projects. My idea they liked - with some caveats. They thought it had the most potential appeal, unfortunately it also has the most potential for crashing and burning. The second one lacks appeal to some members, but is a safer project to pursue, the third they all agreed had various problems as an actual project and should not be considered for such. OK, nice. Pretty much in the order of my preference!

So... as of right now... I have 2 months to pursue my pet project and see where I can take it. If I can show absolute potential, I can go ahead and use it for my proposal. If the data is still ambiguous, then I need to pursue #2 as my project and relegate this one to the side burner - I can still pursue it, but my proposal and project will be based on the other one. Yippee!

OK, I need to go to bed... I forgot whatever the other thing was I was going to blog about!!

stuff and stuffing...

2008-11-28T11:30:00.007-05:00

We had a great Thanksgiving yesterday - did you? We had my parents, Tom's parents, Tom's aunt & uncle, a bunch of friends and then for dessert a few more friends and Tom's cousin and his wife and son. It was a houseful! Food: turkey (of course), 2 kinds of stuffing, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, turnips, corn bread casserole, mashed potatoes, mashed potatoe casserole, blueberry jello salad, cheddar pineapple salad, squash... I think I'm missing something... Dessert - pecan pie, pumpkin pie, pumpkin apple pie, chocolate cream pie, banana cream pie and chocolate cake (my fil's b-day was Wednesday - as was my anniversary and my in-law's anniversary)

(the baby in the pictures below is Tom's cousin's 4 month old son)

I took Mitch, Josh and Mitch's friend to the mall on Wednesday. M needed a winter jacket, J needed jeans and I wanted to get an outfit for holiday dinners, etc. So... we go to LL Bean for the jacket. I had found one online for her - so we went to buy the same one. It was a little expensive, but I figured that she is not likely to need a new one so it was worth it to spend the money on a good one. So, we go in and she gets her coat, finds a hat, and both kids get gloves. I go to pay for it and OUCH!!!!!!!!!!! It was NOT the same coat... to the tune of twice the amount I expected... UGH I told the child she was NOT going to get another jacket out of me... :-) She really likes it... good thing I must say...

I went and bought my outfit for the holiday dinners -

Then we went to buy J his jeans... that was pretty easy, thankfully. He tried on a few pairs... turns out my skinny child is no longer skinny!! The regular jeans just fit him. So, turns out his requirement was that he wanted "Uncle Chris jeans". So - he came home with 3 pairs of "Uncle Chris jeans" and was quite happy.

Too funny...

2008-11-21T20:06:00.006-05:00

Go here and check out the posters...
http://despair.com/viewall.html

I found this from a friend's blog - it is really funny!! If you scroll down and click on one of the posters it brings it up in a larger view and above that is a menu with the names of all of them - click through... I think I'll post a few of my favs, but they are all funny :-)

OK... I couldn't pick... here are a BUNCH!!!

so I need to post...

2008-11-16T18:50:00.003-05:00

Why? Because it has been a while... the problem is - I'm not sure I have anything to say! Hmmm...

I have a committee meeting next Monday, November 24. I'm just a tiny - lot - bit nervous about that. I really should be focused on THAT, not blogging, but - well - you see where I am!

My daughter is contemplating basketball... I think he friends have conned her into it, so she will do it. *I* think she should. She has definite potential for the sport - she is like my brother, Chris, and tends to be pretty good at any sport she tries.

Poor Josh - nothing he can play until Spring. Come Spring and we will have baseball and softball going on! LOL

Mitch had youthgroup on Friday night. Josh went to youthgroup tonight at my in-laws church. Interesting how they do that... set life up so we do the maximal amount of driving around after them :-)

Went to the grocery store today... I think I went to get the meat for dinner today. I spent $202.72. I got more than today's meat! LOL Our grocery store is a Super-Wal-Mart, so $123 of those dollars spent today were on non-grocery items! The rest... well... I am impressed - I got what we need for meals for the week - except for the following: (take note - this is why you take a LIST)
1. ham, potatoes and veggie meal ... I forgot the ham
2. grilled cheese and tomato soup meal ... I forgot the cheese
3. beef stroganoff meal ... NO - I remembered the beef, I forgot the noodles and sour cream

OH well... guess we'll survive - after a return trip to the grocery store to get the missing items!! LOL

the mysteries of life...

2008-11-12T22:20:00.003-05:00

Well, I dunno about that - but maybe I know more about them then what I am presenting on Friday for journal club!! I have spent the evening wiling away the hours... I started so well... working away, getting stuff laid out and organized. Then... disaster... I don't even know what the disaster was!! Somehow I got sidetracked and it is now 10:20 and I haven't looked at my presentation since 7:30 or so!!!!!! Gee whiz... I have a serious need to FOCUS!!!!!!!!!!

Hey - my cat is being a bit crazy right now. She is really entertaining. I think she is chasing an imaginary ... something.

OH... I know what got me off track... my brother's friend called me and we chatted for a while. Nice conversation - then by the time I got off the phone, my dh was home so I talked to him for a bit. Then my dd came out and wanted to show me something... then... well... I was done. :-)

Oh, about my lack of focus... yeah, it's bad...

So, I'm off... I am going to get something accomplished tonight before I go to bed!!!

this is a great article!

2008-11-09T14:09:00.003-05:00

I have been increasingly frustrated with the response to this election. Every election year one side wins, the other loses. The side that loses spends time throwing fits about how horrible life is about to come - remember everyone who was leaving the country if GWB won??? Strangely - they are still here... Why is that??? OK, I'm getting off track. My point is just to introduce this article - Christians recognize that there is a power who seats kings and removes them... nothing happens that God is not aware of - why do we think that because one candidate won over another that God has somehow forgotten we are here? Since he is a writer and I am not, the author of this article does a much better job at presenting my thoughts than I do!!

RELIGIOUS RIGHT R.I.P.

By Cal Thomas

Tribune Media Services

When Barack Obama takes the oath of office on Jan. 20, 2009, he will do so in the 30th anniversary year of the founding of the so-called Religious Right. Born in 1979 and midwifed by the late Rev. Jerry Falwell, the Religious Right was a reincarnation of previous religious-social movements that sought moral improvement through legislation and court rulings. Those earlier movements — from abolition (successful) to Prohibition (unsuccessful) — had mixed results.

Social movements that relied mainly on political power to enforce a conservative moral code weren’t anywhere near as successful as those that focused on changing hearts. The four religious revivals, from the First Great Awakening in the 1730s and 1740s to the Fourth Great Awakening in the late 1960s and early ’70s, which touched America and instantly transformed millions of Americans (and American culture as a result), are testimony to that.

Thirty years of trying to use government to stop abortion, preserve opposite-sex marriage, improve television and movie content and transform culture into the conservative Evangelical image has failed. The question now becomes: should conservative Christians redouble their efforts, contributing more millions to radio and TV preachers and activists, or would they be wise to try something else?

I opt for trying something else.

Too many conservative Evangelicals have put too much faith in the power of government to transform culture. The futility inherent in such misplaced faith can be demonstrated by asking these activists a simple question: Does the secular left, when it holds power, persuade conservatives to live by their standards? Of course they do not. Why, then, would conservative Evangelicals expect people who do not share their worldview and view of God to accept their beliefs when they control government?

Too many conservative Evangelicals mistake political power for influence. Politicians who struggle with imposing a moral code on themselves are unlikely to succeed in their attempts to impose it on others. What is the answer, then, for conservative Evangelicals who are rightly concerned about the corrosion of culture, the indifference to the value of human life and the living arrangements of same- and opposite-sex couples?

The answer depends on the response to another question: do conservative Evangelicals want to feel good, or do they want to adopt a strategy that actually produces results? Clearly partisan politics have not achieved their objectives. Do they think they can succeed by committing themselves to 30 more years of the same?

If results are what conservative Evangelicals want, they already have a model. It is contained in the life and commands of Jesus of Nazareth. Suppose millions of conservative Evangelicals engaged in an old and proven type of radical behavior. Suppose they followed the admonition of Jesus to “love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit those in prison and care for widows and orphans,” not as ends, as so many liberals do by using government, but as a means of demonstrating God’s love for the whole person in order that people might seek Him?

Such a strategy could be more “transformational” than electing a new president, even the first president of color. But in order to succeed, such a strategy would not be led by charismatic figures, who would raise lots of money, be interviewed on Sunday talk shows, author books and make gobs of money.

Scripture teaches that God’s power (if that is what conservative Evangelicals want and not their puny attempts at grabbing earthly power) is made perfect in weakness. He speaks of the tiny mustard seed, the seemingly worthless widow’s mite, of taking the last place at the table and the humbling of one’s self, the washing of feet and similar acts and attitudes; the still, small voice. How did conservative Evangelicals miss this and instead settle for a lesser power, which in reality is no power at all? When did they settle for an inferior “kingdom”?

Evangelicals are at a junction. They can take the path that will lead them to more futility and ineffective attempts to reform culture through government, or they can embrace the far more powerful methods outlined by the One they claim to follow. By following His example, they will decrease, but He will increase. They will get no credit, but they will see results. If conservative Evangelicals choose obscurity and seek to glorify God, they will get much of what they hope for, but can never achieve, in and through politics.

(Direct all MAIL for Cal Thomas to: Tribune Media Services, 2225 Kenmore Ave., Suite 114, Buffalo, N.Y. 14207. Readers may also e-mail Cal Thomas at tmseditors@tribune.com.

(c) 2008 TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.

I can't believe it...

2008-11-04T23:16:00.003-05:00

I did not get ANY pictures of the kids at Halloween!! I'm soooo irritated at myself! ugh...

Mitch went to a friend's house and dressed up over there and went trick-or-treating with her. She spent the night over there and then Saturday I picked her up, she went to the movies with a group of friends and then went to a slumber party for a friend's birthday! She comes home occasionally... if she wants to go shopping or something like that!!

Josh dressed up - he was a combination of his last 2 years costumes - a knight with a ninja mask and cape!!! Kind of funny :-) He had fun - I took him out and he met up with friends and they ran around to all the houses. When it was time for them to go home Josh decided he was done, too. I asked him if he was sure - I was willing to take him around some more. He says, "nope, I just came out to have a good time and I did. If they are done then I'm ready to go home."

I was amazed at that from an 11 year old!!! LOL

so it is done...

2008-11-04T23:01:00.003-05:00

...and a new era starts.

We, apparently, have a new president: Barack Obama. Not the one I would have chosen, but regardless he still needs our prayers. I do not agree with his politics - for the most part, anyway. However, I can still acknowledge that I think it is incredible that he was elected.

Well - at least the people I work with will be pleased! And perhaps - although I'm doubtful as to how realistic this is - his election will improve funding opportunities in research... it will be interesting to see what happens since a good number of people in my field blame the republicans for the funding issues that exist today. I wonder whose fault it will be when it doesn't improve and continues to worsen? Curious...

last game...

2008-10-25T20:42:00.002-05:00

So, yesterday was M's last soccer game for the season. They ended the season 6-4. Above you will see the team shot I took after the game yesterday - they said they wanted goofy - so goofy the did. If you can pick M out, great - if you can't, I'm not sure I want to claim her :-P She looks very silly!!

great blog post...

2008-10-22T23:09:00.003-05:00

Even iff you don't read this particular blog regularly, this post is worth it:

"Ransomed" - audreycaroline

very nicely written... wow.

kids and leaves... love the colors!

2008-10-19T12:27:00.005-05:00

I know NY is not technically New England, but we are close... and the saying that there is no place like New England in the fall... well, New York is right there baby!

Had I the time, I definitely have the desire, I would take a trip to the surrounding hill country and get some awesome pictures - the colors here right now are amazing! My sil took some pics of her kids in her yard - but they have a great yard. My yard has 3 trees - three gorgeous, colorful trees, but there are only 3 of them! BUT... we do have a ravine and small cliff that surround our neighborhood. That is pretty good :-)

I have all of the pics uploaded at photobucket or on my facebook page - you can see them there if you want, I'll just put a couple of them here... Now tell me, how much better do you get... fresh apples, apple pie and sunny skies with such gorgeous colors on the trees... life is good!

Canadian Thanksgiving

2008-10-18T20:59:00.002-05:00

Photobucket Album

Last weekend (a week ago, I guess) we went to my parents for Thanksgiving. Everyone was there except my sister's husband and my brother's best friend's wife. The album above has pics from the weekend. I think there were about 25 people there. Siblings, spouses, kids and parents. Loud, entertaining... we had a good time. And the babies... wow, the babies...

We have a 3 week old, 2 month old, 8 month old, 1 year old, two - 2 year olds, an 11 year old and a 12 year old, PLUS Don's family (my brother's best friend who has been pretty much adopted by my family :-) ) and he has a 2 year old and an 11 year old.

Soccer games and children's names...

2008-10-18T20:46:00.002-05:00

Dd had a soccer game Thursday - I didn't go, but I heard about it when she got home. There were a couple of things I thought worthy of blogging about:

She has started playing soccer in the park with her friends on weekends - they have told her that she "beasts" (apparently a good thing)at the park, but she isn't as aggressive on the field. Well, last game she played in the game the way she played in the park, so her friends re-named "beasting" for the soccer team as "Mitching" Hmmm... yup... that's my girl...

So, part two is related to the fact that she is Mitch to all of her friends. She was playing left half back and a couple of her friends were on the sidelines cheering for her. Suddenly the ref blew the whistle, stopped the game, went over and started yelling at the kids, "you cannot do that, yelling like that is not allowed here and you know it!" The coach came over to see why the ref was yelling at his kids and the kids are asking the ref what on earth they did wrong... He says, again, "you cannot yell like that on the sidelines, you can't call her that" The kids looked at each other - "we were saying her name - we were saying, 'go M-I-T-C-H - Mitch"
The ref says, "Oh, sorry..." and restarts the game quickly...

What he heard was - well, I'm sure you can figure it out!

Mmmmm.... yummy....

2008-10-18T20:39:00.002-05:00

Our house tonight reminded me of my grandma's... my dh cooked dinner - decided to make a stew (I took a picture of it, but it didn't look as appetizing as it smelled and tasted!) Then dd peeled and cored/cut apples and I made crusts... what does that equal????? APPLE PIES!!!!!!! Yummy... I can't wait to taste them!!!

Kid pics at Gram's today

2008-10-05T20:56:00.001-05:00

Photobucket Album

pictures

2008-10-05T20:54:00.002-05:00

Went to Gram's and while we were there I took pictures - some are top secret and will not be revealed until the due time, but some were fun pics of my kids! Here they are - if you know the password, you can go check them out! If you don't and want to - let me know and I'll tell you whether or not I'll give it to you :-)

Just for fun, here are a couple of my favorites!

Awesome joke... I laughed for a while

2008-10-04T09:34:00.001-05:00

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a bass boat below. She shouted to him "Excuse me, can you help me?
I promised a friend I'd meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude."

She rolled her eyes and said "'You must be a Republican".

"I am," replied the bass fisherman. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "you must be a Democrat".

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the bass fisherman, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's my fault!!"

grumpy start...

2008-09-27T09:29:00.005-05:00

I hate days that start out grumpy... guess the details are irrelevant, but this morning was a grumpy one :-(

I am going to the lab later on - that should be fun - well, sort of, I guess...

I have reading to do - work on fleshing out my plans a little more for my proposal and experiments to do to show potential. I also need to go through the first two lectures for the next Immuno exam... I *really* need to not be in the same position I was in last exam... that was bad.

Mitchie girl is off to Boston (Amherst actually) with her youth group for Acquire the Fire. Sounds kind of fun! They will get back late tonight and she is spending the night with her friend's sister so I don't have to go pick her up.

My brother called me yesterday to say his wife was in the hospital - their first baby is due now! Then I got a text about 7:30 last night to say it was a false alarm :-( It was rather cute that he called, though, IMO...

Went to two of Mitch's soccer games this week - they won one, lost one... she plays goalie the second half and the first half she is all over the place. Here are some pics of her soccer games!

A game - yippee!

2008-09-26T19:23:00.002-05:00

Please do this. It's fun! You are to type only ONE Word!
Not as easy as you might think. Now copy or forward, change the answers to suit you and pass it on. It's really hard to use only one word answers.

1. Where is your cell phone? bookcase
2. Significant other? Tom
3. Your hair? up
4. Your mother? Zetta
5 . Your father? Robert
6. Your favorite thing? sleep
7. Your dream last night? none
8. Your favorite drink? Coke
9. Your dream/goal? graduation
10. The room you're in? Living
11. Your ex? none
12. Your fear? failing
13. Where do you see yourself in 6 years? working
14. Where were you last night? lab
15. What you're not? bored
16. Muffins? blueberry
17. One of your wish list items? D-SLR
18. Where you grew up? Tennessee
19. The last thing you did? visit
20. What are you wearing? jammies
21. Your TV? on
22. Your pets? cat
23. Your computer? laptop
24. Your life? busy
25. Your mood? tired
26. Missing someone? Mitch
28. Something you're not wearing? socks
30. Summer? warm
31. like someone? yes
32. Your favorite color? orange
33. When is the last time you laughed? today
34. Last time you cried? June
35. Who will/would re-post this? you!

Kerry's Korner

Time to take a breath...

Living in fast forward...

Football time!!!!

Things to figure out...

Zija time?

Summertime

What to write?

and it worked!

Mobile blogs

for father's day today...

endings and beginnings

where does it go?

A cheerleader???

Life in fast forward...

It is here

as of Monday...

Well that's depressing...

Today...

a re-posted post

home sweet home

where did they go?

Well, I got one thing accomplished today

can this day fast forward?

Don't get too used to this...

Special needs kids - what if you're the kid?

guess what!

hmmmmm

racing the clock

been a long time...

life in the house...

To Save A Life

the rumor weed

what to think...

a boy's boy...

My baby is American made...

change - the spice of life?

where I am...

the story of us...

underwear where?

family movie night... sort of

friend had this on fb... I like it...

oh the panic...

just in case you ever change your mind...

I'm moving

the wonderful (?) adventures of us

Not me Monday???

iPod uh oh...

budget blah...

What a month...

I realized something...

freebie day...

prayer time in bloggy land

Marley & Me...

it seems to be that time...

Seussical

life goes on...

I do not like nosey, overbearing people...

what do you do with...

yo ho ho and a bottle of...

another first... so proud...

Suissical

the music of the night...

What a weekend!!

what a looonnnngggg day....

random ramblings,,,

Mitchie's new favorite song...

the road not taken...

sounds of life...

laugh and let the world think you're crazy...

feeling kind of off kilter...

so sad to hear...

wouldn't ya just know it...

sometimes songs just describe *you* (*me*)

in theory a great day...

our ideals... according to our leadership...

ummm... I'm still alive - I think

our Christmas...

almost Christmas...

test

sometimes songs just describe you (me)